My Stories :)

2010-09-27T23:57:00.001+08:00

BEEP ! :)

Moved to http://xx-iang.blogspot.com/ !

Time to blog all over again and leave the rest as memories :)

IRRITATED !

2010-09-23T15:26:00.002+08:00

That that that ! Is my face now. HAHA !

Messages, MSN... All spam spam spam. Omg. Really don't feel like replying

sms and staying offline on messenger. Grrrr... DL kept telling me that he's

bored. What can i do ? D: YQ msged me.. I didn't reply, and yet he calls me.

And i ignored. He msged that he dislike people to not reply. Like.. Omg ?

I don't wanna reply, what can you do. Argh ! Frustrated. D:

Anyway, AL is slowly disappearing :P

Oh ! Now, i'm sooooooo into Super Junior. Hahaha ! Donghae !! :D Damn, how

i wish i'm in South Korea now. Plastic surgery and all done. LOL ! -_- ! Joke.

Love their songs, dance moves and the unity of the group itself. I'm so crazy :D

Once i switched on the laptop, log into msn, facebook and then youtube all the

way ! Envy them.. They can sing, can dance, have good looks, confidence and

they talk well. Envious ! :) Because i have non of the above. HAHA !

Fine, not gonna blog much. I shall look at their dance movements. So interested

to learn some :P

tadaaa !

3.37PM

2010-09-17T02:20:00.002+08:00

I wonder why when i set a colour for these fonts, they still remain black after i

posted it. -_-..

14th Sept. Accounting fundamental exam. The paper is difficult. :( Didn't know

how to do the 3rd question. Oh well, its over anyway.. There's nothing else i

can do, except to complain about it. Lol D:

16th, stayed at home the whole day and night. Watched korean drama again !

Holiday = drama. " My girlfriend is a Gumiho " Gumiho = nine tail fox. The

show is about romance again.. Love which is like bull shit. Anyway, the main

leads are good looking ! :D Girl = pretty and cute.. Guy = cute and handsome.

Also the story line is great. That's my taste.. But i have to wait for the other

episodes to be out. I really wanna know the ending :( Though i have a

feeling that it will be a tragic end. D:

At night, i accidentally stepped on a baby lizard. :( even though i didn't step it

totally under my feet ( my toe hit it ), i feel so guilty because it couldn't walk.

I didn't see it.. Argh..

17th, went to play basketball after i watched my drama. Headed down to

Indian coffeeshop for some ice teh after that (: That goes my day.

Kinda quarreled with my mom over a small conversation. I really don't

understand why i'll automatically change when i talk to her. My tone and

temper became really ridiculous. Shouting and shooting at her. I hate this.

After one conversation, i tried to make a smooth one by asking her

" you got pimple one meh ? " while she's applying some pimple cream.

But things went bad again. I really really really don't know why..........................

Sometimes i think that she's really unfortunate to have such a daughter.

If only she has one son. And there's no me. Life would be better for her. I'm

really a spoiler.

Walked passed the living room and saw something on the floor. At first, i thought

it might be a litter. I looked closely and it's a baby lizard. Very similar to the one

i saw last night. It's dying.. Lying flat on the ground. " Did i step it again ? "

I don't know..... When i picked it up with a tissue, it's head is twitching. ):

I feel so guilty.

Sometimes i wonder.. What's the purpose of being alive..?

Doing so much.... But you'll never know what will happen the next day or the

next minute. Study, doing things which you hate, being filial, earning money,

worrying about the future, pleasing others, hurt and hurt others. Why do

we have to go through all these when we are still going to die after all. What

do we gain ? Life... Is so weird. So much questions which no one can answer.

I feel like i'm isolating myself somehow.. I don't feel like chatting so much with

anyone. I have no interest in any relationship. I'm such a weirdo lately. Thinking

too much also. Hahahahahahahaha. What an idiot.. People come and go.. I don't

know who is sincere, who is not. I don't wanna trust anyone. Cause they can be

a liar, a 2 face monster. Humans are really scary. They come to you when they

need you, they leave you aside when they don't need anything from you. Guys

who consistently uses " sweet talks ", they don't work for me anymore. I feel

that he's stupid. Just go on lying, and i'll never be fooled by it. And i don't wish

to care.......................... !

2:51AM

HAPPY ^^!

2010-09-13T21:04:00.002+08:00

Look at this 4 idiotic faces. This is what i feel in my heart. I'm really happy !

Because, for whatever i studied for Business Environment, came out ! :D

Everything really paid off well. Most importantly, the paper is really easy itself.

I'm really scared at first. Perhaps, i studied too much :x Almost every corner of

the book. That's why " whatever i studied came out " -.- ! But it's always good

to play safe ! Yeah yeah but i think i lost 5 marks for instance :x because of

wrong answer. If the marker is lenient, i could just missed 2 marks ! Hahah !

Seriously didn't study for that part. I named " Wedding leave " instead of

" Marriage leave " and " Birth leave " instead of " Paternity leave " GEEZ !

Overall, i'm still happy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

I'm not stupid after all. LOL ! * Self praise * :x

Accounting paper tomorrow ! Gonna study hard ! :)

1 down, 1 last paper to go. I really need to pull up all my grades. And by the

end of year 2, i must get 3.5 gpa and above ! Jia you to myself ! I must bring

my family proud, simply because i love them all :P

9.16PM

2010-09-12T15:16:00.005+08:00

Sometimes doing something you dislike, can make you like it after all (:

Previously, i was stressed on whether should i help my brother at the bubble tea

shop. Stressed and pissed ! Thinking of facing some freaky faces of customers, make

me really unhappy. Why should i work and make my blood boil at the same time.

I'm a person who will get angry when i'm asked to do something which i dislike. :x

Boo ! I was really reluctant to go there actually. Dad drove me there. But the

moment i see my brother, i'm willing to help him and try :) Just a sudden feeling.

He's been helping the family financially for many years. He wanted a day off so he

can accompany his girlfriend. As a sister, i should really think of him. Love my bro :D !

He's the big man whom i really respect. I'm really a lucky sister.

My 2nd time at work. I didn't sleep well the night before ! Because i kept thinking...

What if i don't know how to make the drink.. What if i do the wrong one.. What if what

if.. Lol ! I went to bed at 3+.. Couldn't sleep till 7+ ! That's how powerful my mind can

be. Fuck that.

Work work work. Able to look at different types of people. Most of the people from

Saturday are friendly :) ! Smiled at me even though how long i took my time to make

a drink for them :D That's why i say, it's isn't that bad after all :x Hahahahaha !

There's one !! Caucasian guy; Ang mo. Age about 27 ? Tall and not bad looking. He

came in and asked " Miss, you have paper ? " I was like... " HUH ? " Lol ! He's cute !

Pinched his nose and " Paper for my nose... T_T " he gave me that kind of reaction.

Quickly grab a whole pack of tissue paper for him and he was really happy to the

max. He took out one piece and wanted to return me the rest, i said " You can have

that " His face was really priceless. He's so damn happy. " Thank you thank you ! " and

walked off. That really made me feel soooooooooooooo good ! As though i did a good

deed. Making someone happy, makes you feel happier in return ! :D

Mom came during the night. Lots of things happened. I'm a bad daughter. I kept

shouting at her. Argh. I haven't change for the better :( ! I suck big time. After

everything, i paid for her food. Though it couldn't pay off how bad i treated her

all the time, i hope it made her feel better. I do love her, but i don't know why am

i always sucky towards her. While packing up, there's a packet of food at the

corner. My mom thought it might be some customers who forgot to bring it home.

But it was kinda weird to me. If a person buys a drink, he/she will leave it infront

of him/her and not at the most corner. That's Nasi Lemak ! Lol. We went to the

toilet and heard a girl crying while talking on a phone. After that, she came out,

she apologized to the auntie; cleaner. She vomited in the toilet. First thing which

came to my mind is.. She's pregnant ? She's a malay girl, about my age. I guess so.

Maybe not (:

Earned 50bucks. Ate dinner with gs, gong and huat. 10bucks flew. :( Money really

drains sooooooo fast D: Really scary. I spilled by drink last night at 121 :x HAHA.

Really lots of things happened yesterday. After all, it's a good Saturday :)

I've became stronger, i know. But i hope there's nothing which can pull me back

down again.

Sean chatted with me on msn again. Hahah ! Asked me what am i doing.. Wanna

meet.. I went to his fb profile, "single". Expected. That is why he chatted with me.

:) Totally similar to DL.

Some guys are so whatever.

Gonna studyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ! :D

I seriously hate sarcastic remarks. Go straight to the point fucker.

4.00PM

2010-09-10T20:21:00.003+08:00

Played Cabal yesterday because Ass wanted me to. Decided to sell my account

after all ! :) Thanks to him for helping me sell it. Hahaha. But i wonder how much

it will worth. I doubt its much. But i'm sooooo not gonna play it anymore. It's all

dead.

AL asked me what i was doing and all. So i told him everything. He got jealous

that i played game with Ass. Typing those " zzz " on messenger. I hate those. But

he guessed out who he is on my face book. And said that he's a lucky guy. Yeah

right.... bull shit ! Somehow i don't wish to talk to him. But i don't wish to hurt him

on the other hand. My words were kinda nasty yesterday towards him though..

I told him " I don't wish to talk about this, and i have no reason to explain to you "

D: ! I feel so bad after all.. I hate people to control me. He got angry and so ? Must

i really stop playing the game ? He's just a friend. Nothing else, why should i stop

myself in order to make him happy ? When i'm attached, jealousy. Single, jealousy.

What the fuck is wrong with guys on earth ! Totally bull shit. I seriously pity him.

He tells me all the sweet stuffs all the time, but i didn't get moved by any. I pity

him so i chose not to ignore him but on the other hand, i felt hurt and guilty for

making him sad. I really don't know what to do.

Well, DL is worst among all the guys i know.

I also dislike some people when they need help, they don't use words like " Please "

and " Thank you ". No basic manners at all !

I was looking at Dorothy's face book profile. I do stalk pretty girls on face book ! :)

Saw " RIP " to a friend of hers. So i went to look what's happening. I'm busybody,

i know. Her friend, a guy, passed away last 2 days if i'm not wrong. It's very

heart warming to see his friends posting on his face book walls, telling him to

come back and all. My eyes got teary when i read all those posts. Even though i

don't know that person or whatever, i feel sad for him. Life is short and unfortunate

events will happen any time. I wonder who will cry for me when i'm gone. Hahaha.

We'll never know how important someone will be unless they are gone. :( I

wanna treasure everyone around me :) !

But actions definitely speak louder than words.

9.02PM

2010-09-09T19:55:00.002+08:00

Chey ! Didn't know got people read my dead blog still. :D This is really

boring isn't it ? :x

Played pool at Grandlink last 2 days; Tuesday. Didn't like that place !

1st of all, its very cramp. 2ndly, the people there suck. Or maybe i was just

unlucky that day. While playing, the pool stick will always bump into chairs,

tables or poking other strangers. Lol ! Anyway, there's 3 fucking guys over there.

Kept looking at our table as though they are MAD. Who the hell will keep looking

over ? What's worst ? I aimed for the ball and when i turned around, 1 of the guy

was squatting at the back, directly behind me ! He was taking his phone. I don't

know what the F he was doing. Taking photo ? Video ? Or whatever ! Pissed and

stared at him as though i really wanna bash him up. Damn ! I really wish that

im a guy for that moment. If i were, i'll go there and punch him in the face.

Bull shit. Guess what ? I remain chill. Thinking to myself.. Maybe he took a photo

or whatever, but too bad, he didn't manage to capture my panties. I don't wanna

embarrass myself if i were to walk there and ask what the hell he was doing.

You know, some people are really smart, they can just delete that fucking thing

(if he really did take something). Then i LL right ! D: SH saw that guy squatting

down with his phone, but she didn't tell me !!! :( If not, that fucker will not have

the opportunity to do that. But, its ok :) I still love her. Just treat is as though..

There's people who finds me sexy. HAHA i'm so thick skin. -_-!

Life is really unfair i thought. If you really think of it, you'll definitely agree with me.

:) !

DL messaged me again. Same old story. Msg me when he wants to ask me something.

What he asked ? Relationship. Same old answer, a no. Yeah yeah message me when

he's bored. Thats all. I don't need a boyfriend anyway ! :D I'm good all by myself !

Even though i get jealous while looking at couples :( Missed those times.. But i can

control myself and i won't die without a boyf :)!

Btw, i trimmed my own fringe. LOL ! Saved 2 bucks. Omg i'm so bankrupt right now.

Really saving money like a beggar !! D:

Just got to know that Eric does tattoos. He made one for DL. Well, i've thought of

having one. Still deciding though. Or maybe next time :) If i were to have one, i'll

definitely have a clover or a word " Family " :D lots of loveeeeees !

Bball later ! ^^

8.30PM

2010-09-07T01:25:00.003+08:00

Boring........ Feel that days passing by sooooooooooo boring-ly. New word ? ._. !

Felt guilty for not helping my brother out at the shop. Feel lifeless over there

and i decided to stop going there. I know its really cruel ! Even my dad scolded

me :( I don't know what to do. Really really don't feel like going there D:

The previous post is all about anger :x Nothing much matters now. I'm gooood now.

School school school is as boring D: !

Was kinda pissed at school just now. For doing something which i don't like. Imma

person who will get angry if i do something i hate. Damn character ! Gave a fucked

up face to my friends just now. :(

AL ah AL !! D: Can't stop hinting all those things to me. I just wanna make friends

with him and no others. Why some people just don't understand and limit themselves.

But if i ignore him, i'll feel really guilty. I believe what comes around, goes around :(

I don't wish to hurt him. Dang ! He's nice :) But still, i don't like means i don't like.

BAAAA stresssssssss !

Study study ! :) Really revising quite hard to business environment. Grrrrr D:

Hope everything will go well. But somehow im still slacking and lacking behind.

Jia you xx ! :D

Sometimes i really wish to be heartless ! Someone so cold someone without feelings.

Hate thinking so much and in the end, get hurt. That's so ridiculous ! I don't wanna

life like this. t(^ ^t) Fuck that shit :D

Love is all bull shit :P

1:36AM

2010-09-02T21:37:00.002+08:00

I wouldn't be surprised that people out there is looking down at ITE students.

Poly kids, JC, parents, friends, family, or whatever. I'm sure there's 2 faces out

there. Saying that ITE is a good school bla bla bla but behind all these lies, ITE

is a school for people who cannot study. Lies and truth, they all looked the same.

But it all depends on how a person acted. Bull shit. I'm sure my cousins out there

are laughing out loud because none of them entered ITE, unlike me. Sometimes

things in life are really unfair. Like the other time, while i was with SH, we went to

the MRT station. She wanted to buy bus concession and the man in there asked,

"When you want to start?" SH asked him in return, when is the last date of her

current concession expiring. He told her the date and she didn't understand, so

she asked again. That bugger commented that she's from ITE that's why she didn't

understand what he said. Even though i couldn't remember it word by word, he

said that sarcastically. Lol ! What a fucker. He thinks that he's smart. Suck his

own balls.

There's so many kinds of people out there. When we carry our ITE student pass,

it means that we are not as smart ? When we didn't do well for our exams, we are

deemed as stupid ? When we couldn't understand something, means we are from

ITE...... Lolololol.

Basically i'm not having a good mood right now. Everything in life, are all based on

CHANCE or LUCK. For example, my ex. His English language is superb ! For o lvls,

he had D but he retook it and got a B. For some, their language isn't that good, but during

exams, they pass. To me, that's by luck. Like what happened to me for my N lvl

Chinese. I got a grade 4 when i totally suck in it. To me, SH's chinese language is really

good, but when it comes to o lvl, she had gotten a C. That's what i call.. unlucky. But

we can't do anything. This world is totally unfair and evil.

Doesn't mean that a person who uses as much difficult words in a sentence, is smarter.

I can do that, but i chose not to. If he think that he's right, so be it. But i hate it when he

told me that if he's at wrong, i can comment. Heeding the comments made by a JC

student rather than a friend from ITE, makes me feel pissed. Maybe i think too much.

An ITE student's english suck as compared to a JC student. Fine, it's just me.

Argh, fuck shit ! I think too much. LOL !

Sometimes when you people talk, think about those around you.

What i hated most.. are sarcastic remarks. Directly or indirectly. Only SH knows

why or what happened. Love her so much :D She is the best listener.

I should fucking chill myself right now. Gonna go study and sleep. Fuck this world.

10.09PM

2010-08-25T19:54:00.003+08:00

Time flies so quickly. Its already Wednesday :( And there's school in 5 days

time. Totally bull shit. Didn't work nor study. 2 weeks holiday is full of games

and outings. Thanks to auntie aka maid for letting me use the money from dad.

:x for another purpose as well. :)!

Took the Singapore flyers yesterday with clique + edwin and kar ming ! :D

Fun fun :) The time is just right. Took quite many photos there :) Thanks to

GS for asking us there as each ride is only $10 per person ! Student price of

course. The actual price is about $30 :x

School is starting soon.. Happy or sad about it ? Suck ! Gonna face those

people in school and in class. Bull shit. Totally dislike act cute girls. Geez..

I'll just be 2 face :)!

No time to deal anything much in school life. After school is what i am :D

Guys guys guys.. DL messaged me yesterday and told me all those shitty stuffs.

I felt that he only msg me when he's bored in camp. Lol ! I'm not that dumb

anyway. Telling me to give him a chance and all. Totally no way. He sounded

desperate for a girlfriend. After all, AL seems to be more sincere. Haha but i

don't feel anything for him. Being friends will be the best state :)

I want a new wallet !! Gonna save up save up and save up :P

I'm coming, BB :D!

I really feel like working.... Flexible time and acceptable pay job. I want a

shopping spreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D!

8:11PM

2010-08-20T14:15:00.003+08:00

Blog blog blog. Im on and off. Quite many things going through my mind

this few days. I really think a lot during holidays huh. With nothing to do,

makes me think think and think. Lol ! Kinda miss school but im afraid of

the upcoming exam. Not yet touch any of my assignments. Boring... Also

bored of looking for a job. Had been calling and sending e-mails for the

past few days and nothing came by. Anyway holiday is going to end, i

should really stop looking for a job already. :D

Last few days.. Keep bumping into Ann Chen. Hahaha ! Yeah he chatted

with me on msn last few days. Felt kinda weird because it's been a long

time since we last chat. But it was rather cool to bump into someone whom

i knew long time ago. Sounds like long lost friend. -_-!

Friday the 13th, most people said that its a bad day when 13 and Friday clashes.

Well, that's the last day of school ! A good thing. Furthermore, realised someone

who's rather cute in school. Lol sounds like a stupid dumbo girl here. But yeah..

1st time someone gave multiple stares or rather eye contact. Im like soooo sick

in the brain right now. Just remember that face and that's all i know :x

In fact, i stopped helping my brother at the bubble tea store :x maybe its just me,

who thinks too much. I think that he don't actually need my help because he

employed someone to help. I feel lousy bad lousy bad lousy bad ! I can't

handle it if there's many people buying. I can't simply remember what they

ordered and i'll keep asking them to repeat. Also, my chinese just suck ! :x

Luckily twinneh was there to help me the other time :D Love her so muchhhh ! :)

Sometimes i still feel that He's a little weird towards me. We do chat on msn and

also in game. Just got a weird feeling. Maybe i'm thinking too much again ! But

by what he says, does make me feel weird. Good or bad ? I don't know :)

Been hooked by drama lately and don't wanna start on revision !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

I kept telling myself that even though those drama are LIES. I can't experience

it in real life, let me dream ! :P hahaha.

Jiayou to myself ! :D

2.30PM

2010-08-09T23:39:00.002+08:00

Sun burnt ! :(

Went to Sentosa yesterday ! :) 8 August 2010. Hehehe. Was rather emo at first

cause of my skin.. Wore singlet there. Exposed my ugly skin with acne scars. That's

why i'm emo. Haha never liked all these ugly stuffs on me. Sun tan ! :) Was shy to

remove my singlet even thou i wore bikini bra. But i still removed it at the end.

Tan tan tan, i thought it was never enough ! Until after bath and on the way home,

its so painful. That was the first and the last time i get sun burn :x Never want

another one again. The feeling just suck. I thought it will be fun to experience once.

But no way ! It wasn't fun at all :'( PAIN.

Feel like a handicap robot. Moving with hands straight, avoiding any contact with

skin and shirt :( Hate wearing bra ! So tight till my skin feels painful !

Guys guys guys.. One after another. What the.. -_- !

DL asked me out yesterday but i rejected it. He wasn't sincere at all and he isn't

the type i wanted :D Maybe he's just desperate. NS guy.. What to expect ? :)!

AL is also so much better than him. Eew !

Single life is what i want :P Not gonna spoil it until someone rightful comes.

After all, no guy is better than Him until now :)

Ignoring RQ right now. Hahaha ! Thanks to Him for telling me all those stuffs. Lol.

Went to Paya Lebar to help my brother just now. Learnt learnt :) Bubble tea !

It looks fun. But quite stressful if i were to forget how to make them :( Hope i'll

remember ! :D

I really want a Clover ! And a bike ! :x

11.50PM

2010-08-08T01:58:00.002+08:00

Just realised that some people read my blog ! :x I thought no one will visit this

dead blog. Had been so tired lately. Playing basketball and going out. Really had

so much fun playing basketball. On the other hand, it teaches me how to be more

confident in myself. For example, when i get the ball, i must try to score. I wasn't

like this in the past. Always scared. Even though i'm still scared, i know i'm better

than what i was. :)! Also thanks to my lovely twinneh :D Who taught and encouraged

me so much. She totally understands me :x Damn cool !

I'm so gonna spend my time wisely for this weekend. " I hope... " Pray that it will

be a sunny Sunday because i wanna sun tan ! :( Hate my disgusting skin..

Played bball at tenaga after going to Far east and bugis. Some unknown people

came and we played match. 3 v 3. Twin, huat and me vs 3 guys there. 1 fucking

idiot made a comment that they don't have to guard/block me cause i won't move.

Fuck him..! He's isn't that good anyway. If i were a guy, i'll show him what i've got.

The thing is.. If i freaking touch him, its disgusting ! I never liked playing with

guys; especially those whom i don't know. Don't like to get touched. Idiotic ass.

Pui ! All thanks to his tall friend who snatched for the ball so hardly. Lol super

long hands !

I've been thinking of what i wanna be in the future. No ! I don't wanna be an

accountant, but i wanna be a teacher who teaches accounting ! :) I believe that

being with younger people, will make me younger and being an accountant will

be more stressful. So much competition within a company even though the pay

is higher. Its more important to be happy ! :) I'm sure teachers too, will be

stressful but there's not many accounting teachers right now. :x Under government

is also a good thing.

Thought of putting tattoo and learning bike. Though it may sound stupid, i

believe that trying isn't a bad thing. I thought of putting a Clover :) four leaf !

Love it :) Still remembered he bought me one. Clover means good luck :) And i

find it special. Though bike is unsafe, i just thought of experiencing it until older

age, when i get a stable job. Stable job = good income = car ! :D Maybe.......

Still thinking.

No school on Monday ! Shiok ! 1 lesser day to see sucker's faces in school :P Love it !

Sleeping time ! :) Goodnight to myself.

2.20AM

2010-08-04T01:00:00.002+08:00

Have not been feeling good for these few days. I wonder why.. Maybe its just

a new month for me. Problems at school, home and out. Too many people whom

i don't like or get along in school. Im totally not myself at school because there isnt

a need to be myself when others suck. Some talk without thinking, making themselves

like a fool. Which i dislike the most. Totally shit. Money is another problem. Bought

snacks in school and people wanting to share it with me. I don't mind if they can stop

taking as much as they want. As if i buy those because of them. I buy because im

fucking hungry. Sharing isnt a problem. Even so, good friends around me gives me

this problem as well. Dad gave me 20bucks just now. Went out to celebrate Gs birthday.

We shared presents and dinner cost. I paid for some stuffs and friends owe me 16bucks

in total. I feel shitty because instead of spending the 20bucks for myself, i borrowed

it to others. That's what my dad gave, for sake.. No initiative to return as well. No

comments. I don't wanna say much about it as others will say that im selfish. I wished

that money is never a problem. Sigh.. I still owe him so much money. :( Wonder when

i can really work during the holidays.

Went to Orchard ion just now. Looked into the Swatch watch shop and saw that

handsome guy whom we all saw during Huat's birthday at Aston; Suntec. The guy

whom looked like him.. But haha this is better looking :x though they really look alike.

He kept staring at us while we walked pass as he picked up something on the floor.

Took lots of photos too :)!

Don't really wish to go to school. Don't wanna see faces which will make me piss. &

all the fucking attitudes people can give. Immature behaviors make me sick. Boring life.

:(!

1.23AM

2010-07-30T15:36:00.002+08:00

My blog is like dead for a very long long long time.

Last week, i attended for a BL ( bridge leader ) camp.

Friday 23rd July. Reported to school at 8. Headed to Yishun Safra. Get into

groups and all. Thought that i will feel left out but luckily, we get to group

up with people from our class. Shiok :) Cause majority is malay except 3 from

my class. Grace, Adrian and me. If only Ernest came, it will be more fun. Haha.

Most of the time, i don't really mix well with people unless i know them well

or they make friends with me before i do. They are always speaking in their

language which makes things difficult for all of us. But they did change :)

Our trainer; Joe, is a very nice guy. Not bad looking too ! More of cute :) Haha.

He's really caring and taught us lots of skills. For example, standing in front of

a class, conducting games and activities..how to grab people's attention etc.

He even brought our group with section B, to the different toilet for bath so that

we won't have to wait that long and its cleaner :D

Had night walk in the night. :) Walked this dark path and get scared by other

trainers. Kinda cute though..

Day2, i love day 2 ! :D

Had activities. Played along and made myself like an idiot for 1 game. Unforgettable.

I hit my head on a metal bar :( Everyone can't stop laughing at me. Lol. Yeah, i laughed

at myself too. Hahaha. Damn stupid. " Cut bangs, get banged ", that's what Adrian

said. Lol. Even the other trainer laughed like hell. Grrr ! Had campfire that night.

It was hell memorable. We need to act an item, for every group. Before that, we all

had lots of disagreements. Which made everything a mess. But once it get solved,

we kept practicing for the best. Yeah, we performed it and Joe was happy with us !

After that, he was the only one standing right in front of us, clapping with a big smile.

He told us that he didn't have the courage to train ITE students because all along, he

trained pri or sec students. ITE students are older and might not follow up to what

he say. But after he met us, he said that we are his best students and the he cried.

That was the first time he cried during a campfire. He said " I'm sad because you guys

cannot be my real friends " while he cried. He explained that he couldn't add us in

facebook due to company's regulations. Everything that night, was so memorable.

2nd day was the day which i felt loved and belonged to the group. :)!

Day3.. The parting day. Had mass dance after breakfast and lunch. Then we head

back to Simei :) Miss joe so much :) he's a really nice trainer.

Last few days are still kinda normal.. School school and school. Nothing special.

Today, twinneh and i, went to giant. Lol. Lots of stuffs happened. We stoled FBT

shorts and got caught. :( Kinda scared but the man said that if we cooperate, they

won't refer us to the police. So i wasn't that scared... Kinda stupid.. I stole the

white one. Went into the fitting room with 2 grey and 1 white. Came out with 2 grey.

The white one is missing. Of course i stole the white one. That's what i saw on the

video. LOL Fucking stupid. If i took 2 white in, then it wouldn't be that obvious !!

Grrr :( Called up my dad and all. Was kinda scared at first but yeah dad didn't

scold me. Yet, he laughed at me. Can joke too. D: Hahah. The malay man kept saying

that i look like pai kia. He said that.. The first time he saw me, he knew that i will

steal something. My hair and face tells him that. What the hell... I don't look like

gangster la. Then i talk to him.. He say that the way i reply also like pai kia. I'm

so speechless. Lol but he's funny :) That's why i wasn't really afraid. Hahaha.

Love my dad the most. :D I don't wanna steal things anymore. Don't wanna throw

his face :) Love love :D

There's this mad guy.. Asked me " I woo you.. can can ? " through sms. I said " NO ! "

Lol ! Damn it. What's wrong with guys out there ? Don't understand why got people

admire me. Friends are good enough :) Cause, all you guys suck :D HAHA. Just

wanna enjoy my single life. But sometimes i feel like having a relationship :( Open

my big eyes ! :) Love every single one around me and hate them if i have to :D

Thanks god, for giving me a lovely family. If i complaint, means i haven't been

thinking thoroughly :)

30/7/10.

4.10PM

2010-07-05T01:48:00.002+08:00

Sakae on Friday, 2nd July.

Missing.

2.02am

2010-06-20T21:40:00.002+08:00

Holiday !!!! :)

Had class chalet from Monday to Wednesday 14-16 June.

Stayed over and went home too. Drink drank drunk. Hahahaha. No drunk actually.

Drank Vodka with coke :) Chit chat with grace and others. Played cards and all.

Didn't sleep actually. Don't have any space to rest in the room so we actually ton

outside while chatting. Quite average though. Didn't sleep for 2 days. The 2nd day

was rather emo. Few friends got drunk. Haha i nearly got crazy but luckily i controlled

myself :)! Looking at the others who got drunk, i also wanna get drunk but i scared.

Hahaha.

Took bus 5 home from chalet on the 2nd day. It went pass changi prison and all then

to simei. :(! Thought of him cause of those familiar places. Really heart aching. The

highway which we cycled to. The slope which caused my toe to bleed. The road

which he rushed to get water and plaster for my wound. Those are so unforgettable

which led me crying. That night, i became so emo. Hahaha fucking mind. :(! Kept

drinking till i nearly got drunk.

Don't know why guys kept asking girls the same few questions. Irritating. I feel

that they thought girls are cheap stuffs. Which i really hate. Talking about sex and

everything makes me think that they have no respects for us, the girls. Fucking guys.

Holiday holiday holiday.. Hoping for school to reopen. Not much pocket money and

nothing to do. No money = no life :(! Baaaaa everyday play cabal. Hahaha :)!

Kinda sad that he's got someone whom he likes. No matter what, i will still wish him

for the best. Every good girl deserves him :)! Returned him the internet usb today.

Felt weird looking at him. It's like someone whom i've missed. But i cannot do

anything but to look at him and smile. After i walked away, i cried. Damn.. Really

hate myself. I miss him for sure. We are friends... :)

10:10PM

Happy Papa day :)!

2010-06-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

Bloggy ! :)

Had menstration today ! :( What a sad thing. But it's all natural for girls. Aww..

Anyway, i studied Business Environment for few hours last night ! Damn tired

today. But once i switched on the laptop, i'm all awake. Studied again during

break time in the school library. But whatever i studied into details, didn't come

out for the test today ! I seriously still hope that i can get grade A :(! Really suck.

Changed outfit and went out with twinny, je gong and gs :) Went to Dempsey to

collect our pay. First time changed in school la. So many people kept looking at

me like some weirdo. Classmate disturb me. Kept saying that i look good and

all. Bullshit. Saw Mr Andrew, Communication subject teacher. He saw me and

kept smiling. Lol total weirdo. But he's a nice teacher :) from Scotland ! Love his

natural light brown coloured hair. Lol. Yeah but in the end, twinny didn't wear the

same outfit as mine :( Cause we did promised to wear the same one. Baaaa !

Super mood swing in school though. Hahahaha super hate some people. Grrrr :D

Love my brother man ! He's always willing to help me :D I'm so lucky :)

Don't know how to survive during the chalet. With people i hate.. And with no

money to eat. Sucks ?!?!?! :(

Sigh.. I'm still upset ! Though i smile always. Sucksssss :(

Not ready, not interested :)

11.30PM

2010-06-07T21:52:00.002+08:00

Blog blog blog ! :)

Still remembered the other time, we went to celebrate SengHuat's birthday at

Suntec city on 20th May. Ate Aston over there :) Saw a guy who looked super

like "Him" last few years. Super handsome :D! Even twinny also agreed with me.

Hahaha. Same skinny skinny type but more handsome by a little bit and taller :x

Really look like Him laaaa :) In his long hair, the first few times i met him in my

life :)

Been shopping with twin lately and slacking with cliques. Life still goes on smoothly.

Happy being with cliques :) Extremely loving twinny :D

Sometimes don't feel like going to school.. Don't really like all of my classmates, i

should admit. :) Some though.. Argh ! Always having difficulties making friends

because i don't trust someone easily and i tend to hate people easily. Haha !

Went out with Arisman; twin's classmate, the other time. It was a Tuesday but

can't remember which date. We had been messaging for a few days actually. But

not now :D He treated me movie :)! After that day, i feel that he's not the one i

like. Afterall, i still cant forget about Him :(! Not a time for anything new.. :)

He's somehow like a playboy to me. Thanks twinny for telling me some things

which i don't know :D Love youuuu !

Had been messaging a guy name Adrian lately.

It's been like 2 months i've been contacting Adrian. Always asking me out :(

But until now, i rejected him. Baaaa :x We kinda share some likings in common.

But i don't have any special feelings for him. More like only friends :) He's also

like a brother to me. 4 years age gap, finished NS though :)! More mature too.

Still don't like :)!

Sometimes i wish that i don't have any feelings.. Like a person without a heart.

I saw His facebook wall, "An hour ago, An eye candy, At bedok's princess mac."

:( Saw His comments, a girl looked at him and all. Felt kinda jealous. But baaaa !

I shouldn't be feeling all these shit ! That's why i say that i'm most of the time

DUMB :D Sometimes in class, i just don't feel like talking. :( Don't want anyone

to notice me. Just wanna be alone. But at that point of time, my mind can't

stop thinking thinking and thinking. :( Sucks. Baaaaaaaaaa !

10.32PM

2010-05-18T22:26:00.003+08:00

Sunday 16May.

Went to twinny's house ! :) Together with gong, gs and senghuat, after eating

lunch at market :) The rest sang karaoke while seng huat and i sat there and

listen :D Hahaha time pass extremely fast too.

Monday 17May.

Too tired !! :( Studied till 11+ last night. Just for awhile. Hahaha.

Met Grace and Hanisah on the bus as usual. Saw Andy too hahaha but he's a

sleepy head. Don't know why suddenly i get so emo in the bus. Listening to

chinese song about love. So many flashbacks came to my mind. Can't hold it

and shed some tears. I still can't believe. But i'm strong :) Seriously can't stop

thinking about the past these few days. I don't want to keep him by my side,

but i just miss the past :) Too much of memories. I wonder why he can refrain

from thinking about it. I wanna learn toooooo ! :(

Went to Tampines Mall for dinner with twin, gong and gs :D

Ate filipino cuisine :) Still miss my auntie; maid's cooking :( Can't wait for her

to come back :D Haahhaa ! And, we bought present for huat's bday :)

Cam-whored with twinny in the bus on the way home ! Hahahah damn fun.

AND i got a big big big ugly pimple at my chinnnnnnn ! :( I think my menses

is really coming. :(

Going to have sore throat soon :(

STUDY STUDY STUDY ! Wanna have that motivationnnnnnnnnnnnnn !!!

NO RELATIONSHIP.

NO LOVE.

LOVE FAMILY.

LOVE STUDYING ( hahaha ).

XX WANNA GO TO TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC ACCOUNTING COURSE !!

10.55PM

2010-05-16T02:07:00.002+08:00

1 week has passed. Things are still the same. Nothing much to
blog about. Just got a new haircut. Shaved the left side of my
hair and trimmed some, leaving the right side without touching.
Liked my new hairstyle because it's special. Most said that girls
with a broken heart will normally cut their hair short. Some how
i cut away one part because i want to forget the bad past while
leaving some untouched because i want to remember the good times (:
Thanks cliques for suggesting for my hairstyle. Really love it so much.
I can't believe that i kept thinking of him still. Looking at his
life now, i'm happy :) Cause he got over me and he's close to his
new friends. I wonder if i didn't break up with him..I'm sure
he will keep a distance away from them, especially girls. It has
a good side too :) whatever it is, both of us should be happier :)
Don't know why i'm still thinking so much about the past.
Looking at other couples make me regret. I'm not the one for him.
Looking at him tagging in Karrie's posts, made me jealous. Yes i did.
All those sweet talks, flirting talks. Really jealous....
And i realised that i haven't got over him. Sucks !!!

There's this guy who is interested in me. He got my number from Andy.
Kept messaging me and wanting to meet me. Somehow i feel that things
will never be the same. We had been messaging for quite a long time.
I seriously have no feelings for him. And i'm not interested in a
relationship for now. All i want is a sincere friend.

I want to study and go to Temasek Polytechnic ! :)
I want to prove to others that i can do it :) and don't wanna let my
parents down anymore. Its kinda disgrace for myself that i entered
ITE; even though ITE wasn't a really bad school. But people do despise
us. :( This world sucks. Nothing is fair.

Thank you twinny for being so nice to me :D
Love the times :) + cliqueeeeeeeeeees !
If there's someone who reads my blog right now, thanks for reading :)
2:21AM

2010-05-08T14:46:00.002+08:00

Tuesday, 4th May.

Went down for dinner with Twinny :D Ate dumplings with pig organ's soup at 121 :)

Saw En gong ! :D LOL She was walking pass and she did stupid things to

attract my attention. Such a coincidence ! :D Twin actually wanted to drink

beer. So i pei-ed her :D And also gong came along. Happy ! :)
Revised notes on BEV while we chit chat and drank :)
Then Xiu Min came ! :) She came with a "bike". Cool one ! Twinny and i borrowed

the bike and we rode around petal (near gong's house). We were damn noisy but

totally FUN !! Love it so much. That bike costs only 300+. Damn.. I want one too :)

Don't have to pedal. Just turn the handle down on the right side and it will move

slowly. Just like a motor bike ! :D Suddenly feel like riding a bike la :( HAHA.

Seriously FUN FUN FUN ! Better than car :x But yeah its dangerous. Twin damn

cute cause she got shaky hands. HAhaha kept laughing at her.

Nothing special happened on Wednesday and Thursday.

Except that i met Rachel baobei at 137 on Wednesday :D With Ahbee, Shuzheng

and some others. :D Miss hanging out like the past. But sometimes you can't

bring back the past. Hahaha :)

Friday; 7 May.

Ended school early ! :)

Went to Tampines to eat Yoshinoya with classmates :)

Walked in T1 and headed home after that. It was not as fun though, but i'm

still happy cause i don't wanna go home that early haha :D

Saturday; 8 May.

Guess what ! I ironed my clothes and washed the rabbit cage today. HAHA

What a good girl :) LOL..

RAIN !! Ruined our clique outing today :( next time then. Kinda disappointed !

Can't wait for dinner later with my family :D

Plus,

extra pics from last week's kite flying at Marina Barage :)

This cute little boy ! He came and disturb us. I find him irritating at first.

But hell adorable after that. He's SMART. He knows how to use my phone.

Lol ! :D So cute ! He even farted. hahaha.

3.33PM :)

2010-05-03T21:57:00.003+08:00

April 31, Friday.

After school, we went out for lunch ! With Hanisah, Grace, Jesslyn, Sarah, Stanley,

Patricia, Bryce, Abigail, ChuanYa and Teresa. :) Ate Pizza Hut ! Yummy. With free flow

of pepsi ! :D Damn shiok. Ate the spicy chicky dump-lets and double cheese pizza.

Before that, we went to Toys-R-Us. Played ball in there, throwing at each other.

Lol ! Hell lots of fun :D

Rushed home and bathed to meet twinneh !!! :D

Took bus 5 to Far East Plaza. We planned to buy the same slippers but ended up

there's only 1 pair which we wanted. So we went down to Bugis to look for another

pair. Sadly, there's isn't any. So i chose a different design ! :(

HAHAHA but yeah ! I really had so much fun with twinneh :)

Headed down to Tenega to meet the rest of the clique ! :D LOVED !!

Cam whored with En's laptop !! :D Too much photos ! Don't wanna bother myself

uploading all of them. Really happy :) Ate stupid fried curry chicken after that.

Eeeew !

Saturday, 1st May.

LABOUR DAY !

But twin, gs and i, workedddddddddddddd !

Went to Dempsey ! :D Worked from 9 to 4. Apparently, we were late. LOL !

Azhar was there ! He gave us instructions. :) Easy job though. Send drinks

and clear table. Have to wait till the 15th then we can get our pay :D
Took pictures too ! :) But i only post one of myself. Lazy to search for others.

Sunday; 2nd May.

FLY KITE !!!

Met twin, En, and huat on bus 60. Edwin and GS at bedok inter :D

Bought lots of foods from NTUC which made my bag damn heavy la :( hahaha.

Went to Marina Barage !!! Bought Stingrey kite with twinny :) While huat bought

a BAT. lol ! Damn cute. We kept laughing at others " failure to fly a kite " and we

ended up just like that. -.- !! Only one success and too much success ! :(

Flew Octopus kite with GS :D It really flew up high ! Until it ran out of string. -.- !

I didn't realize that there's isn't any string left and boom ! Octopus flew away.

We ran chasing after it of course. Damn funny and stupid. 1st attempt and FAILED.

Twinny and i tried to untangle the string and the sky changed from bright to dark.

:( didn't really managed to fly any kite !! We will fly kite again next week !!!!! :D

So happy ! Really love to fly kite now. Hahahaha ! Provided it has to be successful :x

Took photos too ! But haven't take them from twinny :x will upload some soon ! :)

Monday, 3rd May.

School school school !

Labour day brought forward but we still have schoooool ! :(

Hahaha. Didn't know en, huat and gs skipped school ! Or else i should have skipped

with them ! Hahaha ! On the way home after school, saw them at bedok inter with

huat's mom. So coincidence ! I followed them to tampines as huat wanted to fix

his sim card :D His mom treated us dinner at Long John Silver ! :) Happy :D

Changed my blog skin to the normal template. I love simplicity :)

Time passed so quickly and i realised that i'm not totally obsessed with him.

Slowly, it's fading away. It's not worth to think of someone who's already gone.

Thought about what he said to me, i will never beg for his love. I left him and

its no more :) I deserve to be happy. Single is still the best !

10.40PM

2010-04-28T18:05:00.003+08:00

Sunday; 25April.

Afternoon, i went to find JE gong :) Took thick needle from her and

went home to pierce. I tried pushing on the tongue first. I was scared

and hands were shaking so badly. Saw my lip hole and started trying

to switch target. After a while of pushing from the front, i felt the tip

of the needle coming out. But i wanted it to come out from the "old

hole" which i already had. Kept trying to find the hole and finally it

went in. I used to have a tongue and lip piercing and there's still hole.

Its the middle part that has closed. Headed on to tongue again. It's

definitely more painful at the tongue.. But yeah, went through again.

Dad saw me piercing in the kitchen and he said " Humph ! Ki siao again

right ?! " And i answered, " Too sian already ah... " Then he walked

away. He didn't stop me from doing what i like :) As well as my brother

and maid :)

Went out with twinny to Bugis after that ! :D

Bought a bag at Zinc for 30bucks. Lol ! Met a funny salesman too. He

kept joking with us. Irritating ! But hell funny. Hahaha. Even psycho-ed

us to buy the bag and yeah he succeeded. Really good :) That was the

first time i met someone so outgoing lol ! Then we went walking around

in the street looking for slippers. Went into this shop with a china lady

tending it. Twin was on the phone while i was looking at the slippers.

Then i heard " What sizes do you need ? ", in chinese. I didn't reply

cause i didn't know who was she talking to. Of course twin didn't too

cause she's on the phone. Then we walked out of the shop and i heard

that bitch saying " deaf, mute, deaf, mute ! " I was so pissed and i told

that to twin after she hang up her phone. Mother F.. We were angry

so we went in there again to look for the slippers, we wanna see what

she'll do next. Obviously she's isn't happy with us. We looked at the

same slippers again and this time she said, " No size for you " with a

black face. HAHA ! Priceless.

Headed down to Tampines to look for slippers too. We had KFC for

dinner :D love her so much :)

Monday; 25April.

School school school. Didn't really remember what happened on Monday.

Lol !

Tuesday; 26April.

Morning on the way to school, saw Andy in the bus :) In the end, went to

school with Grace, ShiYa and Andy. Missed a bus and waited for a long

time until the next bus arrived. Hahaha. He's a smoker until now. Bad.

Another funny thing is, 2 lift came and i followed him into the lift while

the rest are in the other lift. I didn't see them so i just rushed in.. Felt

so dummy. Lol ! But funny.

Class again as usual.. Had this LLA lesson; life skill activity ? :x

The damn teacher didn't come, the whole class signed the register and

walked out for break. Had about 3 hours break. The teacher said " Do

whatever you guys want " So, we skipped :) After lunch, there's another

1 and a half hour lesson for that. He showed us a video about race

discrimination. Good show ! :) Forgot what's the title of that.

Sad to say that, lessons on Tuesday are BORING !!! -_- !

After school, waited for Hanisah. Her friend had a relationship problem.

So she wanted to wait for her and we accompanied honey :)

While waiting for bus, a lady sat beside me at the bus stop. She placed her

hand on mine and said, " Girl, your hand is pretty. Thin and long means

will have good life. " She showed me hers and said, " Mine, fat and short..

Now work so hard. " And we chit chat :) Hope what she said was true

then. Haha :) But her story about her work is kinda sad. She cleans the

table in the canteen of the school. :( Hard working.

:( My aunt went back to Philippines. Aunt also known as maid.

Had a good dinner before sending her off. Kinda miss her right now :)

Plus, i'm sure Whitey misses her too ! He's always bored now. No

one plays with him. I have to do housework from today onwards !

She'll be back next month :) Just gotta wait.

Wednesday; 26April.

Started school at 10 :)

My classmate; Sarah and her boyfriend had some conflict.

Relationship is so problematic. Even though i'm single now, i'm happy.

But jealous to see other's being sweet sometimes.

What's mine is mine, what's not mine is not mine :(

Thinking so much.. -.-

9.07PM

2010-04-25T00:37:00.002+08:00

Wednesday 21 april night,

Met twinny to slack. I drank Heineken beer. Lol ! Kinda bored and wanna try

if i can feel better. Drank only one bottle and we cammed all the way. Had so

much fun with her :) Talked my heart out and of course i felt better after

that. Really wanna thank her. So much love :)

Thursday, 22 April.

Had 1 and a half hour of P.E lesson ! :(

Ran the stadium for 3 rounds. Tiring ! At least i feel happier after exercising.

I know my physical shit is so weak now.. Lessons as usual.. Can't wait to

swim. One day i shall ask clique to swim ! :)

Friday, 23 April.

1 hour of accounting fundamental lesson. 30 mins of break with the class at

cafe. Had this stupid inter class competition at the indoor sports hall. So

boring ! :( Ended school at 12.30.. Went to eat, go home, sleep and day end !

Lol :(

Saturday, 24 April.

Woke up at 11. Went to Eunos with twinny and Senghuat to meet Guanshen.

Headed to Marina bay to meet Edwin then work at Marina Barage. So many

kites ! :) Happy to see those. I feel like being a kite, let someone fly me up

into the sky and forget all the bad memories :)

Drank Heineken beer again :D for freeee. + brought a can home. Also drank

wine :x the person in charge gave us some free drinks + food :)

Walked from marina barage to mrt :( so tiring.. Headed wrong direction

then need to walk back. Sweat like hell !!

Sigh...

Whenever i read his reply to me, i feel that he's blaming me for leaving him..

He kept saying that i left him and i should be happy. The one leaving doesn't

mean that they will be happy. I don't know.. I felt that i got shot by so many

bullets at one time. Don't know what the hell can i do. I'm keeping too much

things to myself. It really suck ! Forgive and forget is bullshit because i cannot

do it. I just felt blamed for everything. I hate this feeling. Fuck.

I wanna pierce !!

1:24AM

2010-04-21T18:06:00.002+08:00

Tuesday; 20 April.

School as usual. Paid lots of attention during class (:

Somehow i have some friends issue. Like.. I don't really like a few in the

group. But it takes time to accept them too. " New ones are not better than

old ones." I believe in that :)

On the way home in the bus, bumped into Cheston and YangBin.

Cheston is still as handsome. Haha. - Just saying but didn't have any other

meaning. Good that he's still with his gf :D

Rain rain rain. It's like every evening.

Wednesday; 21 April.

Lessons starts at 10 ! But we had to attend this " Principal talk " so we have

to go to school by 8. In the end, the talk started at 9. Wtf.. Wasted my precious

sleeping time. Lessons as usual after that.. Nearly doze off during AFD lesson.

:( Too sleepy.

Got the urge to pierce my lips again. Ernest; a classmate, has a lip piercing !

Lol ! Kinda tempted to put tattoo too. Anyway no one can control me now :)

But i won't be so dumb to put something weird. Thought of putting my name.

I love to blast music in my ears nowadays. Damn shiok :)

Went on to facebook and saw "his" profile. "He's" talking about "her".

Went dumb and changed my nick to a angry tone. Again, i thought he was

trying to make me jealous. After that, i felt sad. Changed it to "I should

let go- in Chinese". He started talking to me asking if its regarding him.

I said that it was nothing and i went to sleep. He left a offline message to

me which i read it awhile ago.

- ok might as well

- just thought u let me go so long ago because of ur decision

- what's lost to me may not be the best anymore

- but just in case i just wanna say i already got over us

- all these while im not acting for you

- its true.

- so please dont think it that way.

He wants me to move on. I kinda hate him. I should say, i hate guys. All

jerks. Yeah. I don't wanna be so stupid anymore. There's no point being

sad over him. Not worth. The truth is, I haven't got over him.

6:52pm

2010-04-19T21:25:00.002+08:00

Sunday 18 April.

Actually wanted to go out with the cliques. But didn't have much money to shop.

And they met some of their ex classmates so twinny and I didn't wanna go. :)

Met twinny afterall. She accompanied me to trim my hair. :D So happy.

Miss her so much (:

Been thinking so much lately. Going crazy.

No one is sincere except him. That guy who messaged me last few days ?

I told him to give up and all. From yesterday, i stopped receiving his messages.

Haha. Looks like it ended. I don't really bother. This is a way to see if who is really

sincere :) He don't worth anything. Hate this type of guys.

Afterall, he's still the best in my eyes :)

Don't really care about relationships now. Poly is my goal ! :D

Jerks.

Can't believe that i cried last night. Think too much. -.- really dumb ass.

Monday 19 April.

Emotional + happy.

Late for school as usual. Haha ! I'm really attentive in class today. So proud of

myself :) Had "CMS" some communication skill lesson. OMG ! The teacher is SO
HANDSOME ! He's from Scotland. Ang Moh ! Damn handsome ! :D Motivation

to attend school everyday. HAhaa crazy ! But his accents are too strong. Don't

really catch any balls during lessons somehow.

Business environment lesson is SO DULL but i managed to make notes thru out !

Had "CARE" lesson from 4 to 5 ! Happy :)

Sang birthday song for April people. Ate cake ! Care lesson is really fun :)

Had loud musics and everyone is playing pillow fight. Lol ! Someone kept

throwing at me. -.- didn't really get to catch the culprit but i was throwing at

everyone. Haha ! Stress out !! :D

Love today's care lesson. Really feel that the class is getting closer :) Fun :D

I can't believe that i actually took out my notes to read for about 30mins.

Even thou its only 30 mins, its a miracle. HAHA !

9.53PM

sleeping soon :)

Can't stop thinking of you (:

Life still goes on..

2010-04-16T20:29:00.002+08:00

School school school.. !

Saw AndyLow in school :) Exchanged number and met up for lunch in school

yesterday. With my friends and his. Lol !

Saw many other friends in school too. Looks like there's so many people ending

up in ITE college east too. :D

Lessons started yesterday with Accounting Fundamental and Business

Environment studies. Accounting Fundamental is similar to the Principals of

accounts which we've learnt last few years. Business Environment is a

rather dull subject. Studying and understanding the different type of working

problems. More like MEMORIZING lesson. So boring. Like history lesson. T_T

Hahaha !

Andy's friend took my number. -_- he said that i'm attractive. Wtf.. I've been

entertaining his messages. Cause i'm too bored !!! He even asked me out. But

im seriously not interested in him. Just make friends thats all :)

School is somehow getting interesting, especially class. Getting more sociable.

HAIR STYLING course guys are freaking handsome la ! Gosh ! HAHAHA.

Never stopped looking at the fucking cool hair. I think i've chosen the wrong

course. Damn ! And and, beauty and spa course, the girls damn chio :D

But i wonder why hair styling girls are not pretty. :x

I damn bored. Kept thinking...... :(

Still think that some things are meant to make me think wild. But whatever

it is, i'll still be strong and live positively !

Life still goes on even though its a blessing in disguise :D

STUDY MODE !

11:17PM

2010-04-12T20:52:00.002+08:00

Saturday; 10 April.

Went shopping with my auntie; aka maid. :D

Bought black shoes for school after i read that only black shoes allowed for

accounting and other business related courses ! Kinda shag cause i wasted

my mom's money on the converse brown shoe. The black one costs 40bucks

though.. Went to tampines NTUC and bought lots of crackers as well as

milk :D It's been a long time since i last drank milk. I must be so low in

calcium now. Hahahaha ! Can't forget that the guy cashier was starring at

me for a long time. Kinda irritated so i walked away to the ATM to redraw

some money. While eating with my aunt at the food court, i mentioned that

irritating guy. She said that while i walked to the ATM machine, he kept

looking out for me. Gosh. Kinda goose bump.

Sunday; 11 April.

Nothing much happened actually. Except that dad and i went to 121 for

dinner. :) Went to bed at around 3+ but didn't get to sleep because my

brain was talking too much.

Monday; 12 April.

1st day of school. Orientation. Rushed and packed my bag quickly, thinking

i might be late for school. Walked pass 151 coffee shop and saw WeeKian.

I gave a smiley stupid face and he was there giving that type of XL face.

Wanna bish his face at that time. F face.. Went to school with Seng Huat..

Nearly missed the stop. Lol !! Damn joke. A total weirdy feeling when

entered the school. Full with students. Anyway, classmates are still alright.

I made friend with Patricia. :) 1st classmate i made. Lots of stupid games

though. Sweat like hell too. Kinda happy that the classrooms are air

conditioned :) Food there are also not really expensive. :D

1 guy disturb my name. He's from accounting nitec course. Someone in

my class called Xiang Kun. He used to call him Xiang Xiang. Lol !

Kinda bored to wake up early for school.. :(

9:15pm

2010-04-08T04:32:00.002+08:00

Went to parkway with my family last few days on the Sunday; 4th April..

Met mom at Watson's. Bought food for Whitey :) Cost $100. Brother paid

half for me :)

Ate New york new york.. Felt that being with my family is somehow

important. On the way there, in the bus, i think a lot. Passed by the bus

stop where lots of memories placed. Hahaha its over.. Useless to think about

it also. Uncontrollable. Freaking brain.

I can say that im thinking too much almost everyday. Lol ! Whenever im

bored, i'll think of shit stuffs. Damn.. Life is kinda meaningless. But somehow

it will benefit. :)

Went cycling today with jiaen, guanshen and senghuat. Cycled around Bedok

Reservoir Park.. 2 rounds. Tired legs.. Get to see beautiful view of the

reservoir. Its hell beautiful at night. No wonder i see couples sitting on

benches :) how sweet ! :D

Went to 85 market for dinner. Stingray :) Everywhere i go, i think of him.

Hahaha what a dumb ass. Stupid shit. Get a life.. He don't need you now! :D

He asked me questions about why i broke up with him and what is his

character about. Blablabla. Just hope that he'll be happier :D hope he'll change

his character to be a better man. So he have many choices to make :)

As for me, it's still difficult to let it go. But i believe that time will heal. :)

For now, i'll not trust anyone easily. Because humans are scary.

Self esteem ? I don't think i need self esteem. Yes, what's important, is how

you looked at yourself. I don't think that i suit you anymore. You should

be with someone better :) I'm not the one. Just be happy.

4.53AM

2010-04-07T04:08:00.003+08:00

You've got the wrong story again.. Or maybe i didn't put everything clearly.

No one can understand me...

Honestly speaking, i'm scared of guys now.

I'm scared of so many things right now.

Can't stop thinking. Feared.

I might not be able to fall for someone for a period of time.

I'm always lying.

4.10am

2010-04-05T15:40:00.000+08:00

It's good to see that you are moving on. :) Go on.

2010-04-02T03:06:00.004+08:00

Went to Simei ITE in the noon with twin, gs and senghuat. Senghuat is also studying

in the same school. We went there to see if there's any sales of uniform. Unfortunately,

it's closed. Have to return on Wednesday as they will be opening then..

Headed down to Sheng Siong supermart at bedok. Shopped for food and went to

Senghuat's house after that. Then jiaen came along :) Ate cup noodles with pork corn

chicken. Played with huat's horny dog. It kept wanting to " F " my leg. Kinda irritated

but its freaking cute. I wish my dog is as daring as that. As in.. coming to look at

people closely rather than to hide.

Went to Tampines Giant.

Played ball in the sport's depart. Lol ! People went staring at us. Freak old man..

En went to throw a ball and hit onto someone, then we ran off. Hahaha.

Ate meatballs and some cakes at IKEA. Couldn't believe that i ate a wonderful cake.

I saw blueberry cheesecake. " His " favourite. Most of the time we went to IKEA in

the past, i'll get cheesecake. Didn't know there's blueberry one. How i wish i can eat

that with him :)

After eating, we roamed around. Flashbacks came.. Thinking of those times when

"we" were together. Talking about designs of "our home" will be like. Hell lots of

memories.. Shall not talk about sad stuffs. :D

Messaged him and realised that he's with rachel. Playing lan with some other friends.

Kinda guess that rachel actually didn't really like me now. I told "him".. And he

said probably is because she's disappointed in "us".. So i think that it's true that

she didn't really like me. I can see it from her facial expression when we bumped

into each other that time.. And maybe, he told her that :) Even when we messaged,

her reply to me was rather cold.... Hmm...

I may seem strong, happy or rather " fierce ".. " haha some say that i look fierce

when i don't smile. Don't know if its really true.. " I do get hurt when i see friends

hating me or being sarcastic with me. Geez.. Maybe i just think too much.. :D

I envy "him" :)

I might wanna cut my hair short. But im afraid that i'll regret. Twin said that i

might look fine :) But en said that it don't suit me. :( Don't know what to do..

"He" told me that he'll trim his hair like one of the Korean singer. Also told me

that he bought a Zara leather jacket for poly use. I think that he's making me

jealous. But maybe not. Im just thinking too much lately. Going crazy :)

Suits him :) He's got charm. And most girls will go crazy for him. Just hope he'll

make the right choice. Wish him the best :D

Anyway, its twinny and me. :)

Dug out some photos taken on the 29th March. Work at dempsey house :)

Kinda blur and small. Hahaha.

Im suprised that someone reads my blog ! :)

4:11AM

2010-03-31T22:52:00.002+08:00

Worked at Dempsey with twin, gs, en and senghuat on 29th. $7 per hour. A really

good deal. Slacked all the way. Only a 1 day job for 7 hours. :D At first, we had to

clean the buffet materials then after that, we just have to clear tables if there are

waste food. Chit chat all the way. Saw the old colleagues in skinny pizza :D

Ate buffet, watch performance, chat with old friends and made new friends. Geez..

There's this irritating guy. Kept shooting me with a water gun and kinda stick

close to me. Kinda regretted being so friendly. In the end it was all so awkward.

Even picked up a little paper on my hair. I think of "him" at that point of time.

Kinda emo after that. Lol ! I must be so stupid ! It's like.. I felt that i betrayed "him".

Hahaha ! But once again, yes, we are over. Blablabla....

Like what my friends said to me, " patch back with him la "..

There's some reason why i didn't wanna patch back with him. 1 simple reason is

because of his family. Frankly speaking, i don't really like them 100%. I think that

they don't respect my religion. And, perhaps im thinking too much. I feel that they

are a little too "crazy" over their religion. Haha non of my problem though. :)

Saying that " god created animals for us to eat ", when i can't eat beef. Geez :D

I tell myself that he will definitely meet someone better in life who can respect

and accept him :) It's hard to walk into a house where family talks about religion.

Even so, his wallpaper on his computer is about that.

"crazy". No offense :)

Supper time ! :D

11.11pm

2010-03-29T04:17:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling kinda bored so I'll just blog about some stuffs..

Had so much to say but i guess there's no one out there is going to be my

listening ear. Friends dont have relationship now, i dont think they cares

about my problems anyway. Hahaha. Typing to a wall is fine for me.

I've thought through of what i had done to him. I was too unreasonable...

Scolding him even though we are friends. Having period, i really think too

much. Bad mood easily. Come to think of it, everything is just my fault. He

dont have to tolerate these. When he said that he's gonna give up on me, i

felt so pain. And of course sad.. I even saved the damn msn conversation, all

our quarreling. He told me that there's other options for him and im aint

worthy. I guess those words are from his anger. But, i think that its true.

He told me that a girl whom she liked him for last few years, came back

messaging him. 2 years and 7+ months. And she's back ? Just go and get her.

He had good feelings for her in the past but yet he didnt give her the chance.

I didnt appreciate and treasure this chance. What a dumb..

I even imagined the both of them getting together. How adorable. Even though

it hurts. I believe that loving someone doesn't have to be with him/her. :)

No matter what he do, i'll still support him deep down in my heart. What

matters the most, is his happiness. Im really not worthy. I felt that he left me,

instead of i leaving him. Weird isnt it ? I know i'll regret. But nothing's gonna

change. It will be better for us.. I hope :)

There's so many things i wanna say. Its so tight.. There's no one i can talk to,

except you, blogger..

When i bought snacks, i think of him. He bought me those crackers before. The

times were we eat and watch movies. Hahaha hell lot of memories. I cant get him

out of my mind. Maybe im going crazy, but thats fine. Hahaha! I lied to him so much.

I lied that i wont shed any tears for him, but i still did. I lied that i'll change his name

on my contacts, but i didnt. I lied that i hate him. I lied that he's not worthy for me

either. There's no turning back. I wish him the best :D

I do love him actually...Making him to hate me, is a reason.

4:31AM

2010-03-27T01:11:00.002+08:00

There's so many things i want to say. But i don't know where to start.

I'm feeling so upset. Wished that I'm 18 right now. So I can buy beer anytime.

Dumb..

2010-02-24T00:44:00.001+08:00

Sometimes life has so much fun too :) :)
Love you bi :D
& twinneh.. !
12.45AM

2010-02-23T01:14:00.005+08:00

It was his birthday.. It ended about 1 hour ago.
Disappointed with myself. What a fool.. Yes imma fool..
The day out was kinda casual with his cousins.. How i wish it would be better..
8 people squeezed into a car and headed down to Orchard. Played lan at Katong,
watched "Percy Jackson and the lightning thief" at Cineleisure. The movie ended
about 9+ and his cousin have to go to work. So everyone went back..

Went to Eunos and took 2 photos.
Before that i was quarreling with him.. I suggested that he could come near my
house to eat the cake i bought for him yesterday.. I felt so stupid to keep wanting
him to drink water ! He got pissed that im forcing him to drink water. I didn't mean
to.. I also scolded him stubborn. He drinks really little for the whole day. It's not good
for the health.. I hate to see him drink very little everytime.. Maybe i shouldn't be
that busybody. He got angried for so long even though i apologised and tried
to tease him. And of course i got angry after that despite many tries. Haha..
I'm angry because i couldn't make him feel better and whatever i do is wrong.
He even said that i was trying to control him. I really don't know what else i
can say. Just too stupid to ask him to drink water. Sometimes what a girl wants is
someone who can listen to her thoughts.

I don't know why am i so sad right now. It's like everything's my fault. Always
doing something wrong until now.. Even cried so badly while having a bath. Wth..
Kinda stupid.. Cut cut and cut.. Cry cry an cry. Sometimes i really don't think
that i'm someone good for him. Arghhhh !

Was kinda sad when he told me that he replied my sms late, cause he needed to
reply bday wishes from friends. I thought he will reply me first then followed
by his friends. I expected too much. I'm just so sad now now now !
Hahahhaa going retarded already !
Twin can't come out to meet me for supper. Sigh.. Alone alone alone..
Going to bed..
Everything is my fault ! I hate myself ! Why i cant stop crying for fuck.. __
Good for nothing..

I wish someone who is better, can take over me for him..
I can't do any better..
1.50AM

2010-02-18T03:38:00.000+08:00

INACTIVE :D
happy chinese new year !
will blog when im not lazy !
xD

2010-01-27T23:20:00.003+08:00

Went to work with my new hair colour. Many said that i look bad with the hair
and it made me very mature. :( Its kinda hurtful but i spent $62 on it ! :( What made
me jealous is that all of them complimented twinny's hair except mine. I envied her
to be a cute little girl with a cute voice and character. Trying to be strong, i held my
emotions throughout the day. No one to talk about it except my baby. He's always
there for me whenever i feel down. I feel like hurting myself as i hate myself for
not being perfect.

I feel lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend by my side. He never fail to comfort
me when im feeling low. Last few days i hated myself for making him angry
whenever i see him. For a week, we only managed to meet up about once or twice.
Its hurtful to see him angry for the precious 2 days. I wished i can do more.. :(
I blamed myself for not being good enough for him and also wasting his time, love,
energy and money on me. Im extremely silly at times which made him angry :(
I love him so much.. I doubt that no one can ever replace his caring thoughts to
me. Except his bad attitude :X but its improving !

Went home and i became RICH out of a sudden. Dad, mom and brother asked if i
have money. "No..... :(" then dad gave me $20, brother $20 and mom $10. One
after another. Dang ! Im rich ! $50 in 5 minutes.... xD

I wish that i won't think so muchhhhh ! :(
11.44PM

2010-01-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

CABAL again :)
Went to baby's house with my lappy. Asked him to check out what's wrong with my
cabal helix. Had a little conflict under his block because i think too much. I thought
that he'd changed :(

Cabal loading ! Mine (left..) and his lappy (right..)
Sony NW and CS series :D
Loving my lappy every moment... (dont mind the legs behind.. :) )

Dyed my hair at bi's house. His mom helped me to colour them ! My hair became so
GOLD ! Like.. golden monkey. :(

So i went to a salon near baby's house to highlight my hair. Trim and highlight.
Spent a total of $52 at the salon. At least im satisfied with my hair now :D Slightly
brown and gold :)

Will get to know which school im posted to, by tomorrow !! Kinda nervous... :/

Money money money. Why everyone talks only about money ?! Dang !
Its irritating. Feel stressed when i think of it :( heartache..headache..

Work tomorrow again ! Doomsdayyyyy :X

11.18PM

2010-01-19T02:58:00.002+08:00

Just kinda lazy to update my blog recently. Had so much problems going on
at work. For example; unhappy with the supervisors. Most of the people there
are just acting to be friendly, something which i didn't like most. How i wish that
they are all chinese. Not trying to be racist somehow.
Its been a week since i last saw baby. Miss him so much currently :)..
He undergone a surgery on his elbow last few days which made me worry so much.
I want to see him right now. :(

Can't wait to get my pay soon. Its been almost 2 months I'd been working there and,
no salary yet. :(

My 2nd uncle is in the hospital now. Currently in the ICU, emergency room ? I hope
that he will be really fine.. Its really sad to hear these type of news.
There are always sudden happenings in life.

Hope to be in the same school with twinny too :) so that i wont be lonely. Hehehe.
Can't wait to highlight and trim my hair ! Also, shopping for clothes and make up
accessories :P

Learnt some cool hairstyles online which i will and i must try. Too bored having my
hair down all the time :x
Gotta go and have some rest now ! :D

3.06AM
will blog again soon :) :)

2010-01-12T01:39:00.003+08:00

O levels results were out. Went back to school in uniform with the clique as
usual. Was nervous when they announced the percentage of passes overall.
The Sec5 batch didnt do that well as from what i saw. Envied those in the
express stream as they did very well. Kinda regretted not studying hard enough
for my exam. Nevertheless, what's over is over :D
Really congratulate those who did well for the exam and good luck for their coming
new year and new life.
Stood up in front of my teachers while receiving the results. Mr Ganesan said this
to me, " You did quite good which i didnt expect, XiangXiang.. " I was cursing him
in my mind.." Bull shit.." When i peeped at my result slip slowly, i was so surprised.
Surprised that i passed my English and Mathematics. The important 2 subjects.
Went on and on. 4 passes and 1 failure. However my points were not enough to
admit into polytechnics. I was disappointed and naturally i cried. I got 29 points.
Its a waste that i didnt get 28 points.. Or else i can use my CCA points as well.
Fated i guess.. :)

English : C6
Combined Humanities : C5
Mathematics : C6
Combined science : D7
Principle of accounts : C5

I was shocked to see that my POA was C5. My poa sucked all along in Secondary
school life. Hahaha must be a miracle! As well as my english subject.

Anyway i've decided to go to Higher nitec in ITE and move up to polytechnic after
that. Since direct polytechnic admission only allows 26 pointers to appeal. Fated as
well. :D
2 years in ITE, 2 years in poly. If not, 3 years in poly after Secondary school. Just
have to waste 1 year afterall. I can do it ! :D
I'll be with twinny also. Hehehe. Love her.
Last but not least, congratulations to baby and my friends ! :D

1.54AM

2010-01-11T00:23:00.002+08:00

9 more days to pay day.
Few more hours to receiving results.
Feeling nervous.
Having a bad feeling.
Regretted not trying my best to study harder. Or not i dont have to be this worried.
Hope baby, my friends and i did well :)

Feeling tired everyday. Waking up so early in the morning for nothing. Its like an
alarm clock had been inserted into my head that i woke up at 6+ to 7am in the morning
everyday. Its so sickening ! D: Having difficulty sleeping also.

My phone is having some problems with smsing. Most probably the problem occured
after i dropped my phone. Heart ache :( Gonna send it to the hospital soon. Haha.

So many days didnt get to see baby. Just wanna say that i miss him so much :)
Couldnt think of any more to blog about. Will blog soon again i guess :)
Tadaa ~ :)
12.54AM

2010-01-04T17:01:00.003+08:00

New year is here.
Spent my New Year's eve and New Year's day working...
On the eve, met the clique to Marina Square to watch the fire works. :D
Kinda tired and bored while waiting for the fire works. While watching, i felt
so energised and i felt excited to come to a new year :)
New year, new beginning. Reached home and ate some left over steam boat.
My family had steam boat and bbq for dinner while i worked for the whole day.
Kinda sad that i didnt get to enjoy what they had. Hahaha but its ok. There's
always another time :D Went to sleep at 3am. Woke up the next day for work
and felt super tired. Hahaha.

New year..
Wanted to meet baby after work actually. However, he said that there wont be
any shop opened if we meet so late. Fortunately, my mom came to Suntec with
her sisters [ my aunties ]. They ate buffet ! :( Mom came to fetch me home.
Felt kinda happy that its a new year and i can get to be with my mom. Maybe
this is really a new beginning for us to get closer :) :)

Work work and work..
I got scolded by a customer yesterday. Lols. So pissed with that bitch who said..
"take away the board"....... I thought she wanted me to clear the table by taking
the board away but she meant that she wanted to take away the pizza. Fuck D:
Bitch.. !

I miss bi bi.. :(
Haven't met him for a long time already.
Blablabla......... :(

Darn... Both of my fighting fishes passed away. Both before the new year.
Upset. My half moon and copper fish. :( Rest in peace guys !

Hee yay ! Wednesday, twin will be working with me. Can't wait ! :D Love you
twinny. hehehehe :D
5.24PM
I wanna go shopping la ! Give me my pay !!!

2009-12-31T00:04:00.002+08:00

TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ~~~!
@.@
I'm feeling so tired now........ had been washing the freaking dishes since afternoon.
Feels dead. :( Fingers got wrinkled because of soaking in the water and soap. Kinda
useless wearing gloves because water can still enter. Suck. Also, its the first day of
my menstruation period. Fucking cramps over my body. The sink was kinda low so
i had to kinda bend down. That results to back aches. Damn shit D: !!!!
Tired tired tired... Need to rest now. It sucks to work when period is here. Grrr :(
Body pain, head pain, mind pain, heart pain.
Got cut by a cutlery on my hand. Lol. Retarded knife..
Also, the scar i got from "Rubi shoes" on my little finger, became worsen. So sucky.
Nails spoilt due to the effect of the soap. Help me :(

We are so cool.. so cold :(
Sad.

Cant get my pay till 20th of Jan next year. God damn it. Im suffering T_T
12.12AM

2009-12-30T00:48:00.006+08:00

Damn.. We quarreled again. This time i really feel so tired of it.
I couldnt stand it anymore. Accusation and without trust. That's what i feel
all this while. All along while working, you always felt insecure about our
relationship. I've tried to assure you time and time. Everything turned bad
again after that. Then i need to reassure you again. You are tired of thinking
and so am i. I am tired of repeating all these assurance. You told me things
which you hate. I assured you that i wouldnt do it again. Of course at first i will
feel angry that i have to change. After that, i will understand why i need to change
for you. I assured. But the next day, you came warning me to know my stand.
Told me that if anything turns awry, you wont stand by and suffer but you will
wash your hands and leave. Do you know that by saying this, you do not have
trust in me ? Do you know that by saying this, i felt that all my assurance made
before, had gone to waste ? Because you still think that things will go awry
instead of things going right. I know you get jealous because you care and love
me. I do get jealous at times. I dont like us to raise our temper just because of
useless problems like this. I assured you and you dont think so much ?
I really dont know what else to do. Im really lost. Whatever i did, you hate it.
I dont know what else i will do that will make you happy. Since you also said
that the both of us were different, i will take note of what you hate. I apologised.
I said that i wont repeat it again. But why keep rubbing into that problem ?
I even thought of breaking up with you since we were both tired of this
relationship. But i dont know why i feel so heart ache that i couldnt tell you
that. Memories kept running into my head. Those smiles we had just couldnt
stop playing. I couldnt bear to say it. This is the first time im feeling like this.
Sigh..
Looks like you remembered every single wrong doing of mine. Until today
you wont be able to forget and move forward. Not even to trust me.
Im always the one at fault. I'd told you. Yet you didnt believe. Now, you
yourself is stating it to me. "you let me down".
How i wish i can think anew. Something is stoping me. Everything is my fault.
It had been me... Im the culprit to spoil this relationship. ITS ME.

1.22AM
Need to ease my pain.

2009-12-30T00:35:00.002+08:00

Life just suck.
Everything i do is also wrong.
I'm forever your bloody god damn dog.
I need to follow your command and all.
Life is so freaking chee bye unfair !

2009-12-29T22:46:00.003+08:00

Kinda happy today. The moment i step out of my room, i did many tasks.
Get my rabbit and dog bathed. Lols. Mission accomplished. Went out with
my mom to OG at Bugis. She bought me a handbag :) Felt so happy bcuz
this is the first time in so many years that she really brought me out to shop !
All the time is baby shopping with me. :( Really envy those friends whose
parents bring them out and spend time together. Now, I feel it myself. :D

Made my mom pay for my stuffs of course. Lol :D I actually wanted her to
buy me a pair of shoes from "Rubi" store. Even though those shoes looks attractive,
they dont suit my feet at all :( Disappointed !

Drank some chocolate milkshake after that and it was delicious :D
Went back home after that.... In the bus, we barely talk. Feels awkward somehow.
Perhaps we just have some communication problems.. :(

Dang ! I didnt get to meet baby today. We were alright since yesterday night when
we apologised to each other. Brrrr ! Always like this. -_- ! How i wish that things
like that didnt have to start. I hope he's really fine right now because he told me
that he nearly fainted this morning in station due to low blood. :(

Hope everyday is a happy day ! :D
10.55PM

2009-12-25T01:39:00.003+08:00

Introducing.... Whitey and Ah Boy; Cocoa !!!
Whitey ran into Cocoa's cage for a visit so i took this picture. Hahaha. Dont they look
adorable together ? After some time, Whitey went to bike Cocoa's neck like how he
played with his toy. Naughty boy.. I had to pull him out from the cage. Tsk tsk tsk.
MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!
On the 24th, which was few hours ago, baby and I went to Plaza Sing ! :DDDD
Ate Yoshinoya for dinner. Baby also bought me a christmas present xD
Shopped for food in Mark & Spencer. Also, watched the movie "Avatar (3D)".. damn it !
Everyone should watch it as well. Its fucking 5/5 stars for me ! Its marvellous !!!!!!
You won't regret watching it xD
I wanna have an avatar too pleaseeeeeeeee..... ! Love the story line which brought me
tears and envy :D

Took the freaking MRT to Eunos.
From Eunos, took bus 21 back. In the bus, I met some disgusting strangers.
2 women behind me and 1 in front of me. They are so SELFISH.. They sat on the
outer seat and left the inner seat for some invisible spirits. Gosh.. Im wearing a dress
and some how on heels. They freaking don't wanna let me sit. Perhaps they have some
incurable disease with them that they don't wanna spread. LOL FUCK.. Singaporeans
huh ? Incorrigible !

Took photo with baby while waiting for MRT :D
That gloomy face of his...

And when i ask him to smile..
It went like this......
So fake ? Hahahahaha ! Small eyes xD

Reached home and opened my present. Guess what.. It's that $60 handbag from

ESPRIT which baby gave !!!!!!!!! OMG :D I was overjoyed !!!!! He told me earlier

on that he bought something from BHG and its worth $19.90.. White lie huh ?

HEHEHEHEHE ! Yay !!! I wanted that bag so much on the day we went shopping.

It was kinda heart ache that i didnt have that much money to purchase it and it was

left only 1. But baby bought it for meeeeeeeee !! xDDDDDDDDDDDDD Thank you

my loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3

He's so nice to me :D

2.12AM

2009-12-23T00:15:00.002+08:00

Christmas day is coming ! Can't wait to do so many special things with my love
one. Hahahaha ! Don't think dirty ya. Went shopping with baby at Bugis Junction
on Sunday ! Had so much fun there. Shopped my day in "Cotton-On". xDDD
Met RACHEL there too !! We had dinner together with one of her guy friend, 4
of us in total. Weee :D Long time no see ! Kinda happy to bump into her.

Had so much fun with baby.... hehehehe.
Happy anniversary to my love ! 2 years and 5 months !!

How i wish my pay will come so soon and i wanna go on a shopping spree again !!
Whoooooots !

Kinda sad bcuz im working at Wheelock instead on Suntec now. Had to change
schedules with twin and JE :( Wheelock seemed weird, crowded and food over
there is fuuuucking expensive ! So...... SHAG :(
Hope i can survive there thou... :(
I miss my baby boy xD and i wanna go back to Suntec !!!!!!!
12.28AM

2009-12-21T01:10:00.003+08:00

Work work work ~!
Seen so many different types of people. Some are truely kind and helpful while the
others are bad and nasty. Most are fakers. Fakers as in acting nice in front of you
and doing all shit things at the back. Currently working at "Skinny pizza" in Suntec
with GS brother while twin and En are at Wheelock place. At start, everyone seemed
extremely friendlybut their true colours showed up after a few days. Most of the full
timers came from Philippines. Out of the 4 in Suntec, i hate this guy. He acts big and
command brother and i to do this and that. What a hoe. Feels like a dog. Hate it so
much.One of the bigger post lady from Sg, shared food with everyone except brother
and i. Why ? Are we outcasts ? LOL! I was standing right beside her when she fed the
others one by one. While giving out samples to passerbys, most Singaporeans are like
fucktards ! Fucking ass hole....! I stood beside them like 5 cm away from their arm,
holding onto the board, smiling and shouting " Hi ! Would you like to try ? " They just
fucking don't see ME ?!?!?!?!?! Blind ? Deaf ? Or retarded in the brain ? I guess its
the 3rd one.Wasting my effort ! All the sickos. I just want my pay check !..

Hate it when everyone keeps asking me to do things the way they wanted. I have
my own life !!!! They always slack and make us busy.. Make drinks for themselves
while we cant. AWWW ?

One girl name Ria. She is a very nice girl and i like her. She's so helpful to everyone.
Yesterday her boyf came to fetch her but he was jealous because he saw her friend
working together with her that night. Her boyf is a Singaporean while Ria is a Pinoy.
He is 20 this year and is serving the NS, just like my boyf. Character also almost the
same huh? No choice..? Ria and her other friends came from the same school, he can't
possibly be angry like that. She came to work today with sore eyes. She must have
cried so much yesterday. Guys are some how jerks. I pity her.

I dont know why im treating my mom like shit these days...
She talk to me, i raise my voice and shout at her. Why ??..... She wanted to eat my Oreo
cookie and yet i shouted at her " Eh ! This is my Christmas present leh.... fuck " Come to
think of it, im really so bad to her. Everyday i tell myself that i'll treat her better
tomorrow. But that day never come. Maybe because i just hate her character so much.
Hate everything in life.

Reached home and asked to borrow money from my auntie aka maid. She keeps money
for my dad. I complaint about working on how tired i was and every shit. I wanted to
enjoy myself tomorrow on my off day. We talked to each other like a machine gun trying
to fire at each other. Never ending shit. Last week i didnt get to see my boyf.. she tried
to point out which day he was not free and which day we can meet. I was so tired to
think and i attitude her all the way. So pissed. What for to be so clear ? No time to meet
= no time to meet.. Had slight headache and i ended up being bad mood.
Came out of the room. Saw my mom sleeping while the tv is switched on. I shouted at
her " Oi ! If you want to sleep then go into the room and sleep. Don't sit here and sleep
while the tv is on. Dont complaint to me that im the one wasting ur electricity. Its you !"
And i walked away with a sucky face.

Went into game.... play play play. I accidentally hit baby's char. He killed my char
all the way. I got pissed and said " Cb la u ".. And so i returned and kill his char. i knew
that he was angry but he claimed that he wasnt. I hate people to lie to me. So pissed
with life.I felt guilty of course.. I'm sorry. And I'm so tired today. I want to burst !!!
When you said that you wanted to play dota, i thought that dota is so much important
to me. Im jealous that you rather play dota than talk to me !

Somehow i hate life. I dont understand why my parents wont give me money unless
i ask them personally/ borrow money from them. I dont understand why life is so
difficult. I dont undertsand why working is so shit. I dont understand why nobody
understands me. I just hate life because its totally unfair.

1:47AM

2009-12-10T00:06:00.003+08:00

Woots ! I've been spending so much money since last 2 days. Lols !
Walked in Tampines area with baby just now. Caught an eye on a shoe...!
$50.. Hahaha another bag attracted me from E-sprit.. $60.. :( After i get
my pay, i'll go have a shopping spree with my love. Heheheheheheh ! I've
been missing out on those good stuffs lately !

Ate dinner at Tampines 1.. "say-cheese" heheheheh ! Ate Chicken baked rice.
Gosh...! I rather eat baby's Baked Beef Lasagna.... My baked rice tastes boring even
though its "chef's recommendation" Lols =x BUT their drink.."Strawberry cheesecake..."
is fucking delicious la ! Gosh... I wish to have life time supply of that.. ! :D
Totally shiok ! Its like a cheesecake drink instead of eating it mouth by mouth.....WOO!
This is one of the BEST drink i've ever tasted. The another best drink is "Iced Chocolate"
Not that ordinary ice chocolate, but it tastes like melted chocolate icecream. Power !!!
However, i cant find that restaurant now... :( I miss the iced chocolate.. Damn..! Almost
everywhere i go, the ice chocolate will never be better than that :(

I shall never be lame with baby anymore... :(
He dont like me to be lame ! That's so hurtful but i must also understand his needs.. :D
I shall only be lame with my cliques !! :D Hehehehehehehehehehehe ! I shall be someone
mature when i'm with him. And someone childish when i'm with my friends. Lols !
Bring me to shop again my love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xD

I wanna meet rachel baobei tooo !! It's been so long since all of us met. I miss her xD
Aww.. Its like.. 10hours and 40 mins more to work time ! :( Goodluck to myself !
T_T It's a "4 days" suffering again.
12.20AM

2009-12-07T22:48:00.003+08:00

Hee yay.. Uploaded photos from food fair with twin. :D hehehehe !
F&N....... :)

Money money money. Why is earning so difficult while spending money is so easy ?
I just spent 80bucks on my dog's food. Lols. Its like I'm working for my dog and not
for me. But i still love him and that's why i want him to have the best. :D
Hahaha. My 2nd boyfriend..

Damn.. Sometimes i wonder why do i have a mother who doesn't really care about
me...? When i go to work, i have no money and yet she borrowed me money instead of
giving me money. Now that i get my pay, she remembers the exact amount of money
i'd owed her, which i don't remember. Hahaha ?! Im 17 this year and im working for
my own money. I just realised that im such a "good child" just like my brother. Lols.
My parents will never ask me, "Do you have enough money to eat?".. Instead of me
asking, "Got money to borrow me?"

Went to buy dog's food with daddy today. Hahaha free transport to Simei..
I spent 80bucks on Pet Lovers and that fucking cashier didnt ask me to make the
membership card. Cheebye.. She's like 18 years old ?! She thinks that im poor and
no money to make card huh ? Stupid bitch.. No mouth to ask... Spend a minimum of
$50, can make 1 card.. Fucker.

12.55AM

2009-12-07T01:16:00.003+08:00

Work work work.. Almost everyday is packed.. Luckily im only working for part
time.. :D Monday till Wednesday is off day ! :D
Well, i miss "him" everyday and i wonder if he misses me in return.. :(
Things are slightly different now as im most of the time working. I hope that there's
more trust in our relationship though..
Well, he just treated me coldly just for a facebook remark. Sigh.. Life isn't easy.
Work work work ! Bloody hell, when is F&N paying me my money ?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!
A rich company yet giving out salary like that ? Must i wait for a month for my
salary to be processed ? Anyway, this coming 8th is 1 month. What the fuck......!

Received a sms from my junior yesterday while working. She asked if im free for
band's concert. Sadly i have to reject it because of my work schedules. I missed playing
the trumpet and would like to play one...

Earning money is really not easy..... :)
1.24pm

2009-11-19T01:02:00.004+08:00

He told me that we should take some time away from each other to change ourselves

and improve impression on each other. I thought it was a bad idea but now, it was

actually a good decision. :) however, I hope things don't change that much as for

feelings will fade after time.. :(

We haven't met for about 5 days now.. Luckily I have Whitey to accompany my

sad times. Thank you boy ! He's only 8 months old. Mixed breed with Husky and

"old man dog".. Don't really know the name of the breed but its a kind of dog with

"beard" haha. Totally cute. He's homeless and so, I adopted him :)

The big boy.. 8months old ? He's kinda big..... D:

Playing with his toy Tiger.

Whitey and me.

Thanks twin for helping us take these photos :D

Things in life happened too quickly. The moment I saw him logging into msn, we

chatted like normal friends. Everything seems to be restarting. Memories kept playing

in my mind. I missed everything we did together. He changed his display picture and

I realised how much I missed him. I couldn't take my eyes off that photo. It feels like we

were long lost friends, somehow we know so much about each other. Dying to see him...

I hope feelings will not fade for the both of us..... :)

Wish that he's happy for long.

1.28AM

2009-11-16T20:26:00.002+08:00

Life is often filled up with ups and downs. When you are feeling good, bad things come
quickly. But when you are feeling bad, good things don't come quickly.
It's been 2 days + of cold war. Sad to say that I'm very tired of it. Even though the
feelingof being alone suck, I don't know what else I could do. Memories kept hunting me,
it's all so painful. Truth is ugly. Strolled in the Mall all by myself, thinking of what had
i done. Bumped into an ex classmate and we chatted a little while. He asked me if i
wanted a dog because he's giving his dog away, and without a second thought, i said yes
i want it. He told me that he'll contact me to collect it and we said farewell to each other.
Stood in the bus surrounded with people. On my left was a family and on my right, was
a couple. A happy and perfect family, a sweet couple. Tears began to fill my eyes. I
couldn't stop it. I wonder why happiness isn't with me for long. I asked SingHong to
accompanied me to collect the dog. I was so happy that i found a little cute partner.
When i told "him" about this, he said that i met a guy behind his back and that we
exchanged no. with each other. Not only hp no. but house no. too. What else can i say ?
He's so scary now. Always accusing me and hurting me.

My auntie from the 4th floor came down to my house and chatted with us about her
daughter (my cousin). She said that her boyf was terrible because of his temper and
attitude.Even though he has a high paid job, it's useless if a man is so bad tempered. I
felt upset when she mentioned that their relationship ended. It feels like everything is
reflecting to me. Even this morning, the dog growled so loudly that it woke me up. It
was 7:55am on the clock. I wanted to go back to sleep but then, the phone rang. I forgot
to attend my Listening Compre Examination today. I quickly rushed out of house for
school. The dog accompanies me throughout the day and night. I just love it.

I just received a message from him. He wants me to imagine if a girl giving him a dog.
What will i do ? Well, if i were him and i know that he loves dogs so much, why should i
stop him ? Its not like he have to do sex with the girl after accepting it or accepting her
love ? That was over the limit. He did accept a kitten in the past before we get together.
Even if he did mentioned that a stray cat looks like that kitten he got, to me, i get jealous
but i don't doubt him.

Everything just suck. So do life.
Healing the pain.
10.12PM

2009-11-10T17:06:00.004+08:00

Woo hoo ! I just finished watching Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. That was
the only movie available -_- ! Lol ! Anyway it was also a good thing because I can
watch my Cloud :DDD Hahaha ! My handsome "Cloud".. Just a show though... Can't
think too far. :D

I miss my boy !
We went to Tampines yesterday on a date.. Date at Tampines Inter... Headed down
to Courts megastore to look on laptops. Hahaha ! Baby went chanting to make me
pleased and approve him to buy 1.. He's so disappointed that he couldn't get a Macbook
Pro. The sales man told baby that Macbook only comes with 1 year warranty and for
the following years, $500++ each year. What a joke ? Looks like Macbook is the "BEST"
type of laptop ? Every electronic devices do spoil after some time.. Macbook doesn't
stay up to 10 years anyway. Lol ! So baby ended up buying Sony Vaio. :D Gosh.. I also
want one ! I'll work and save to buy one too. We actually wanted to take photos but after
that, we didn't have the time to :( hahaha. I miss him laaaa.... Our dinner was also sucky.
We head down to IKEA's restaurant but when we reached there, it's closed.. So we went
back to Courts for the Subway but it was also closed. Lol ! Retarded shops.. D:

Hehehe. I want to work ! :D
Tomorrow is Science Paper 1 :( Goodluck to myself !!!!!!
And after that, I'll go with baby for job interview. Wee ha !

I'm craving for Marks & Spencer's butter cookies !!!

2009-11-09T13:07:00.004+08:00

Boo !
On friday and saturday, I worked in Expo's fair.. On how to stay healthy blablabla...
Working there seems a little care free but hands and legs were aching.. stood for a
total of 6 hours on friday and 11 hours on saturday. Ouch ! :( Have to pour the samples
of F&N drinks. At the same time, drank some of it. Hehehe ! I love the yogurt drinks..
My favourite is the Mango yogurt drink but it wasn't there.. I had the mixed berries
drink and it was not bad ! :D On the last day, managed to bring home 3 bottles of mixed
berries yogurt drink and another 3 bottles of fruit tree blueberry and cranberry drink..
The fruit tree drink was as advertised in the advertisement. Hahaha ! It said to give..
"anti-ageing" [dont know how to spell]... So I drank lots of it.

While managing the game section, I realised that how "Sua-Ku" Singaporeans are...
The game is.. Spin the wheel, and I'll ask a question and if you get it right, I'll give a
prize.Basically there's 3 types of questions according to what you'd span.. Those
aunties............Kept wanting to change the prizes to what they want. Grrrr... So
irritating. However, when some got what they didn't expect, they looked at me with
a smile. How sweet ? :DMajority of the old men are better than old ladies.. Lol !

Took my BMI.. Hahaha I weigh 44kg now. :D I lose weight all because of my Peter Pan..
If not, he won't like me anymore :( Girls have a hard life... Huhuhuhu :'(

Wednesday is Science Paper 1.. But I'm in holiday mood now... WEE WEE :DDD
When is my pay coming ? :P
1.28PM

2009-11-06T22:18:00.002+08:00

Back to blogging...
Man... I really think I did so badly for my O levels. It was insane...... !!
I had the answer sheet for the History paper and yet I got confused and wrote the
wrong factor.. God damn it ! I lost so much marks for that.. And also, I missed out
a 7 mark question for my Social Studies paper. Sigh.. It was all so fated. There's nothing
I can do. I can only rant and be angry over it ! Goshhh..... Also, Science paper was a
disappointment. Hahahhaa ! Maybe everything in life is... a disappointment >.< !

Went to work today at the Expo hall 6.. Introduced by baby's friend. :)
His friend was rather friendly. I felt that baby is so sweet towards me today. I don't know
why I'm so attracted to him today. Especially today ! He must have eaten the wrong
medicine today.. :( He accompanied me to Expo by cab after our lunch.. While i work, he
head down to Plaza Sing alone to upgrade our Omnia 2's programme. For the 6 hours..
he met his friend for awhile and came back to expo to fetch me for dinner. The feeling
is GREAT.... How I wish that this will always remain :) I felt quite lonely when I work..
Kinda lost because I miss him so much. Time pass so quickly in there.. When it strikes
7.55pm, i rang up for baby. He was outside the gate waiting for me ! :D I felt so happy !
Hehehehe..
However, I believe that a minute of happiness is equivalent to a minute of sadness.
Hope that it's not true :(

Iloveyou, :)
10.28PM

2009-11-01T11:04:00.001+08:00

Gosh ! :(
Tomorrow is Humanities:SS and Science P3 !! :(
I haven't start studying.. Omg...
Panicked and worried. Damn ! :(
I shouldn't have played cabal all along.....
Enough time bo ? :(
11.08AM

2009-10-31T19:38:00.003+08:00

Tears and tears, unhappiness and unhappiness.
Why is it so difficult to be a good girlfriend ? If you care, you controlled too much over
them. If you don't care, they will feel bored with you. So what should girls do ? For
everything we do, it's a mistake. For every wrong doing they done, once they say "sorry",
we have to forgive them. Girls are always at the losing end. Lesser strength and
emotionally weak. They are stronger and harsh. Sometimes i wonder why is this world
so unfair ? If you cared so much that your boyfriend is spending too much and buying
unnecessary stuffs, you wanted to stop him immediately. However, he said that you are
jealous because you can't have what he desired and said that you controlled too much
over him. You stood still and blamed yourself for caring so much. You might even think
of not caring for him anymore. So why not loose it up and keep on moving ?

The worst thing is to meet an unreasonable and petty boyfriend. But what can you do
when your love for him is so strong ? All you can do is to bear with it. But how long can
you do it ? I agree to what a boy in game said "Girls are toys". Guys always toy with
every girl's feelings. Scold us, attitude us, then next minute said "im sorry" and case
closed. Do you guys really know how it feels ?It's worst when god plays tricks on you.
A moment whereby it's a great opportunity to solve problems, the weather take over.
All of you are freaks ! Men are scary creatures !And please do not tell a girl that you are
always superior no matter what. It really makes a girl want to kill you right away. We
have feelings. How does it feel when you are unable to do anything right ? Like a
handicap ? What if you are sad, and your boyfriend presumed that you are angry with
him.. and he scolds you. What will you feel ? AWFUL..

I'm feeling shit right now. I don't know what to do.. This is the first time I'm feeling so
lost.. I've been called a "flirt" over and over again. Things had changed and i could not
tolerate it further. I believe that the pain in me, can be removed temporally when there's
pain in the outside. Stop hurting me.. It's so painful !! Think before you do, or else you will
miss me for the rest of your life. Im tired..

2009-10-29T17:51:00.006+08:00

Today is a Thursday... Had just finished a total of 2 subject papers for O levels.
English and Mathematics.. Phew~ Having a few days rest and Monday will be the
continuation of the battle again. I'm kinda worried for my Science as the result is getting
from bad to worst. What the hell..... These few days, I get really indolent and lethargic when
i think of studying. Frequent headaches hit my brain. Am i going to die ? Hahaha...

I love my fighting fishes..
My $35 fish. Shiny blue, opaque tail with blue trimmed. Hehehehe ! He's a sexy male breed.

Next, the newest fighter in my home. The male copper breed. Cost $12... =x
While starring at his other friend.

Say cheese to the camera !

The fish looks like they have a spade tail.. But it also looks like a "D" tail :(

Hope its both D tails :D

Look ! Ahboy is waiting for me while im using the computer.. So adorable :D

6.16PM

2009-10-22T18:15:00.005+08:00

Sometimes i really thought that I'm like some depressed child..
With low confidence, always thinking that im useless, thinking that no one loves me..
Sometimes i really hate myself. Whatever i do is wrong. My parents don't talk to me.
I brought a pet rabbit to accompany me at home. Unfortunately, it doesn't play with me
even though how much i tried to play with it. In fact he treated me as some sex toy, trying
to fuck my legs. It's adorable somehow but also irritating sometimes. Life can never be
complete. I wish that someone will shower love for me, especially my parents. But i don't
feel it..

Today is our anniversary. We had science pratical today. I thought that we could spend
our happy times at the fish spa where we went last few days. However, when i received
his call, he's totally not into mood. I didn't know what to do so i wished him happy
anniversary. His reply to me was with no expressions as though it's normal to go through
an anniversary day. I told him what i am doing on the computer and he concluded that
i was "carrying balls" in helix forum. Now in his messenger nick, it reads "Damn i made a
big mistake for science practical!!! and i hate bootlickers!" That bootlicker whom he's
referring to, is me. He will never know how much he'd hurt me. It's just a game, a forum,
an internet website.. Why do you have to do this to me ? Why is everything my fault ?
What have i done wrong by reading in the forum ?

bootlicker / carrying balls = trying to be close to someone else by any means.

I should always be alone. Talking to myself, playing with myself. I don't want to create
any more troubles. Exams are around the corner.. I couldn't imagine myself going through
all these accusations. I don't wish to fail my exams. Everything is a distraction. I'm tired
of shedding tears.

I feel like locking myself up.. Life is such a misery. I'm feeling lost. How i wish that I'm
18 now. I would like to be drunk right now.
I smiled while looking at your photos. After seconds, tears flow down without a reason.
Why ?
6.39PM

2009-10-17T11:38:00.002+08:00

Woots !
I'm feeling kinda bored and so i've decided to blog !! I'm currently into Cabal Helix again..
:( The motivation for studying just died off... =x How can i build it back again ? Its only
a couple of days away from my major exams... Damn !

Yesterday, baby brought me to Pasir Ris farmway to experience Fish Spa !! :D
12 bucks per half and hour. tsk tsk... 24bucks for 2 heads. Isnt that profitable ? Lol.
When i place my feet into the water, all the Gurra Rufa sucker fishes rushed towards
me. Haha. They look like Corydora's [ found in fish tanks; known for eating shit.. ]
They have white belly and a black top.. My opponent is baby ! He stole so many fishes
from me, once he put in his both dirty legs.. Awww ! Should have gone there alone .... D:

Went to eat Subway in the Courts MegaStore... :D Walked walked walked....
Looked looked looked... Bleah ! Im so interested in laptops ! Either MacBook or HP dv6..
And, IKEA's yummy meatball ! :D
:D :D :D Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars !~

Man !! To all the males with cock out there, please learn to understand girls more !!!!
Lol !
12.07PM

2009-10-11T12:17:00.004+08:00

Went to fish farm yesterday with dearest, dad and ah ma; aka maid.
Bought fighting fish ! :D Its sort of a rare type with out lines on the tails and fins.
costs $35 ! I wanted to buy this sexy male pakat last few weeks but it was $40 then.
hahaha. Met korkor Nicholas there too. He knew the boss of Yun Feng and asked for
discount when i buy fish. Lol ! Baby bought pure copper breed which costs another $35.
wew....... total discount was only $5.. :(

Headed down to baby's house to help him with his fish tanks. Hahahaha. Can't wait to
breed my fishes.

Pop ! This is cookie...
Poodle ? :D hahahaha. My brother's friend's dog staying in my house for a day of safe
keeping. Isn't he adorable ? Well trained male poodle. His face is round.. makes me
wanna squeeze his cheeks. He always sit with a hand on top of the other. Maybe he's
trained to sit like this ? Gentleman ? lol.

Fatty face. :D

Can i own a doggy too ? =x

Man.. I haven't officially started my thorough revision.. :( I also lost my freaking english

note book.. What the hell..... Im so doomed ! Just extremely interested in my fishes. Lol :D

1.03PM

going out with cliques soon :D

2009-10-04T12:51:00.003+08:00

Lalala... Im feeling BORED !!!
When i check out my facebook, i saw this on my profile.....

haha ! Its rachel baobei spamming my profile ! I thought she forgot my bday bcuz she
didn't message me this year !! However i was touched by so many wishes made by some
people. hahaha. :D

Attended my cousin's wedding yesterday... Hiton Singapore level 24. Haha... Tall building..
The food there was delicious.. Especially the CHEESECAKE !!! I had 2 servings of the it.
My bro drank too much alcohol and so i have the privilege. lol ! My mom thought that she
took cocoa cola drink and she gave it to me.. Its red wine. lol ! My dad also asked me to
drink beer. =.= ! While watching my cousin and his wife saying "I DO", my eyes felt
watery. I find it sooooo sweet. hahaha ! Maybe im too emotional sometimes.

Sat with few cousins. Some how admired them also. All of them looked successful unlike
me.. Dumb in the brain and everywhere. Engaged with husband who can afford to raise
the family and bring them to abroad. Driving sexy cars, wearing pretty dresses. I can
only say that i envy them :D Anyway, i am me !

Friends also cancelled the outing for Sunday; which is today.. Bcuz they have not much
money to spend. Its ok :D I understand. haha :) AND....
Fuck it ! My fighter fry DIED.......... A handful of them.. Thanks to the "Liquidfry 1" food.
Anyway, I'm not supposed to feed the fry until day 6, according to my brother's friend.
T.T !!!! Im so sorry fry fry.. I'm only left with about 10 fry.. I wish that they can grow up.
:( sickening !!!! Anyway, their mother is "Royal Blue".. Black head and blue body. Woo !
I was told by dearest.. hahaha.

Shall end my post here. Be back when I'm feeling "FREE" :D

1.22PM

2009-10-02T18:55:00.008+08:00

Back for blogging !
Last few days, on Sunday, 27 Sept, baby and i went to Bugis junction to look for dress.
My cousin's wedding is coming ! I can't wait to eat those delicious dishes !!!!! :D
Well, while shopping, we met Baobei RACHEL :D hehehe ! Its been so long since all of
us last met. I really miss her. After my exams, I'll definitely meet her up with my baby.
wee wee :D They are " twins " afterall. haha :D

Im in love with this dress from Dorothy Perkins.
Anyway, i dropped my phone in the dressing room. LOL ! Wtf.. my heart was like..
CRACKED ! I told this to baby, he said..no big deal cuz he dropped his twice. lol !
Luckily this isnt IPhone... or else, it might be dead by now.

The last day of September ! 30/9..
Went to Kbox at Marina Square after school. :D
Sang and drank. Had the buffet dinner with the $23++ package. Irritating ass.........
I think i'd gained 5kg from that buffet. Lol.. i hope not. Its fucking hard to slim down.

My birthday ! o1/1o.
Hohoho.... Went to Tampines Mall with baby after school. Ate pastamania and baby
treated me Swensen's icecream.. I prefer Hagen Daaz. =x
Baby promised to treat me that on our anni :D lol !!

He fetched me home after buying Daphnia for my fry. :D
Sadly, baby didn't want to go up to my house because my aunties' were there to celebrate
my birthday with me.. :( anyway, i got lots of red packets :D hahaha.
I'll own you ! Dorothy perkin's dress :P

My brother bought me this cake !
Noodles ? haha those are actually made of cream. Its delicious :D
However, he's at work when we celebrated my day :( Noodles represent "Mee Sua"
means..... long life. Haha. Eggs and vege also have meanings behind it. But i dont know
what they meant. =x

My noob picture. Lol !

Great thanks to my dearest, who brought me so much happiness in my life.
Also not forgetting my family and my great friends. They sang me bday song !
Including baby... haha i remembered that he's shy when he sang it xD

Now, for the interesting part ! Look !
My fighting fish and FRY !!!!! Those little dots.. are the babies. With their dad. :D
This, is their mom. Hahaha. Since my dad love this little blue fish, i breed them together.
:D

Little cutieeeeees !

Some pretty half moon betta to share :D

I still love my betta even though there are prettier ones :D

7.43PM

Exams are coming ! Doomsday is coming too :(

2009-09-26T22:13:00.002+08:00

Woots !
Woke up and attended Maths mock exam at 8++ in the morning. Out of the 2 and a half
hours of working out questions, i took an hour of nap. Tooooooo fatigued. By the way, baby
and i watched Phobia2 in the cinema yesterday. It was rather entertaining. A total of 5 different
scary scenes. The first 4 were quite scary or maybe i, myself was a timid person. Its more like
teaching a lesson on karma. As a person, i strongly believe in karma. What you did to others,
will be returned to you. Be it good or bad... The last scene was kinda hiliarious. 4/5 stars for
that :D

Lol ! dad bought me 3 female fighting fishes out of a sudden ! It was a miracle to me. I didnt
experience this kinda "love" action from my dad for a long time. Today, i suddenly find that
he's so sweet towards me. Hahaha. However, its kinda weird..... 1 male and 3 female ?? Omg..
My boy fighter isnt that flirty okay :( hahaha ! I still love them all :D i thought he didnt like
me to rare fighting fish too because... my mom said that fighting fishes promotes fightings in
the family.. superstitious :(

My holland auntie is back ! :D hohoho. Was quite elated to hear my auntie's voice when i woke
up from my afternoon nap. She even suggested to get me a Nonya dress for my cousin's
wedding. One pretty dress cost more than a hundred bucks... How can i let her get that for me ?
I felt bad.. :(

Cant wait to go shopping with my dearest tomorrow. I think i'll get myself some dresses :)
Hope that anything can fit me ! :D

10.28PM

2009-09-21T15:36:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling bored, sad, heartbroken, headache, sleepy..................... Lol..
Mentally retarded is good. Heart hanging in suspense.. What to do now ? I'm feeling so
confused. Or maybe i think too much. I thought he'd changed somehow. I thought that
i'd changed. Or maybe its still remains the same as before.. I'm treated so coldly when
I can't help solving the game download. Maybe I'm just so useless. It's so cold... that I
don't know what to do. The more I think, the more painful it gets. The tone, the feeling,
and the temper,whatever it is makes me feel so lonely. I can't do anything but to wait
until he cooled down.I always had this feeling.. No matter how much i miss him or love him,
nothing will change his temper towards me. I wish to be stronger.

I'm tired.
3.46PM

2009-09-20T14:02:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling extremely bored without my love. He's having his duty today....
Luckily tomorrow is a public holiday because of Hari Raya and also, its baby's off day !
Can't wait to see him tomorrow. Freaking bored !!!! Can someone introduce me something
entertaining to do, other than studies ? Man.. i really hate studying now. Hahaha.
Do it for the sake of doing, with no emotions. Aww... What is human becoming nowadays ?
Weird world.

I've watched a video last few days. It's a video on a group of China men, capturing dogs
and torturing it... For fuck ? I don't know.. What i can say is that those men are retarted
ass holes with their brains in their asses. Horrible bunch of people. What they did was...
to grab the innocent dogs by a huge clipper-like plier and clipped the dog's neck. Pulled
the dog and drag it on the ground. Next, they used that "plier" again and grabbed the dog's
fore leg.. use a stick or maybe a hammer.. Can't really see it clearly. Hammer the bones
and it broke instantly. Leaving the dog spitting out puddle blood and moaning in pain.
Also, they used a knife to stab the chest of the dog. It was a bloody video. What a disgrace
to my ancestors that what current Chinese are doing in China. What the hell..... Just hope
that their government would stop these unduly act. I'd not only watched this dog torturing
video, there were many other videos which i've watched too. They are disgusting freaks !
Die idiotic freaks ! I'll celebrate upon your death. _l_

Cabal time :D
2.24PM

2009-09-19T22:41:00.003+08:00

:D
2nd day of re-blogging.
I doubt people realise that i'm blogging again. Lol.

Here's my sexy little fighter again. Little half moon :D
He looks a red, against the sunlight.

Went cycling with baby during the late noon. Its was rather cooling when we started cycling.
It was only the two of us. After cycling for few minutes, my legs began to feel tired. Lol !
I must be really unhealthy huh ? :( We cycled to Pasir Ris farmway. When we reached there,
it was already dark. Managed to find one fish shop which was still opened despite the late
timing. We were quite disappointed when we didnt get to see any fighting fish in there.
However, we found some interesting marine fishes. Nemo ! So i took some random photos.

Huge star fish.

After that, we headed down to the Elias mall to have our dinner at Mcdonalds. As my brother's

bike worth a lump sum of money, i have to take good care of it. So, we carried up our bicycles

and locked it right outside the Mcdonalds. Lol. Felt a little awkward. Just typical Singaporeans.

Suah-ku ? :D

Saw a fish shop in the mall. To our surprise, we saw 2 huge female fighting fishes and some

other sexy ones. That was the largest size i've ever seen. Baby said that he will bring me to
his childhood places in Thailand to catch the fighting fish over there. I cant wait to go to Thailand

on March 2010 :D Im so captivated to fighting fishes now. Shall i match make for my little

fighter ? :P

While cycling home, rain drops began to congregate on my skin. Rush rush rush, we went.

Cyling faster and faster as though we are competing with the speed of the angry clouds.

Approximately a 20minutes ride to home. Exhausted. :( I hope that there won't be any

muscle cramps again ! Hahaha.

When i was bathing, a spider crawled creepily on my leg. OMG ! I freaking hate spiders.

Their 8 legs made my hair stand straight as though i'd gel my hair. Eeeew ! I smaked and missed

it. :( Next, it is nowhere to be seen. Haha. Damn it..

Not forgetting, my lovely ahboy ! The horny boy who can't stop thinking of fucking my legs.

Awww D:

Thanks my love, for the wonderful and fun ride :D Love you !

11.12PM

2009-09-19T01:19:00.003+08:00

Wahaha. Finally back to blog ! Hello peeps ... :)
I'm quite contented with life now. There's too many good stuffs going on lately.
Also, within a few days time, it will be my 17th birthday !
I also hope there will be fun :D

Baby bought me Omnia II. Hehehe. He got one for himself too :D
At last we got our couple phone. All thanks to him ! :)

Baby's engrossed face. Look at his cocked eyes. Opps =x

The farrari shirt from 2008's F1 event. Hardcore sales person. Wahaha :D

Lots of memories. I won't be a bad girl anymore .... :D

My little fighter :D still a little one, but he's fucking fierce :D

1.35AM

2009-06-13T12:50:00.005+08:00

Blog blog blog !
Hahahaha. Update update updates !

This was taken from 2nd July.
Went to Pasir Ris park with baby and his family; without his dad.
Managed to see horses in the park, so we went to take a look. They smell
like the Zoooooo. Hahaha. Their shit is green in colour. Cute huh ?
Baby said that they were just ponies, not adult yet. Hehehe. Didn't manage
to take a photo of the white pony. Sooooooo handsome ! Sounds like *prince
charming riding on a white horse*.

Me and the super small pony. Hahaha.

Here's the bigger one.

5th July ! Went out to Kbox to celebrate Kaili's birthday. Hahahaha.

My love. :D

Just a random picture of my AHBOY !!! He's actually eating cabbage. Haha !

Latest !

12 July; Friday.

Went cycling with baby, Xiong and Melvin.

Hahahaha. I rode my bro's Specialized bike. Headed down to bro's friend's bicycle

shop to change for my Wheeler's tube. The man there thought i stole the bike T.T !

He came to me with his fierce looking face..... :( man... do i look like a bad kid ? Lol !

I love cycling my bro's bike... Its sooo smoooooooooooth ! :D but its too tall for me.

Baby led us to Changi Village. Went through this scary place with LOTS OF CAR !

And we had to push our bikes across the roads; jaywalking. Man..... My heart was

pumping so hardly when i see those cars zoomed pass my face.. Hahahah !

While pushing the bike down a steep small slope into a drain, i slipped and my toe

got scratched against the dirty drain... :(

There's plenty of little stones in my wound. Painful yet its funny to me. Wahaha.

I laughed non stop on my toe toe.. It looks funny, as though it was skinned.

And the skin feels so rubber !

Hahaha. Baby helped me bandage my toe toe. :D ugly right ? =x

After that 4-5 hours of cycling to and fro, im so beat :(

Reached home and ahboy kept starring at me. So i snapped a shot of him.

Maybe he's in love with me. Lol !! My horny ahboy !

Hehhee. Bye !

1.18PM

2009-06-09T12:27:00.003+08:00

Hehehe !
Had fun yesterday at baby's house. We watched Monster Vs Aliens.
Damn it ! Its the best cartoon movie i've ever watched. Shiok !
Everybody must watch :D I love that jelly and insect !!!
Man... Only i have a pet like them. =x

Haha. Currently eating my breakfast cum lunch.
Baby had his volcano eruption minutes ago because of cabal.
Lol ! I think i just have to wait till he's cooled down. Hahahaha.
He and his weird mind..

I havent been attending remedials lately :(
Soooooooo.... lazy !!!
Twinny didnt message me just now so i went back to sleep :(
So sad..

I heard there's Kbox today again ?
Wahahaha. But not yet confirm.
Im feeling bored.. :(

12.30PM

2009-06-07T11:00:00.002+08:00

Wooo !
My blog is kinda dead now.....
All because of CABAL ! hahahaha...... =x
Aww.. Ate vegetarian food for breakfast. I feel soooo happy because im not
harming any animals. But i cant guarantee that for the whole day im eating
vege la. Let me be someone friendly to animals for this morning. Wahaha !

Man... baby is in station now :(
Im feeling so lonely again. Damn.. I cant stop thinking of playing even when
im on bed. WHY ! Hahaha ! Simply because im addicted D:

Last 2 days, on a Friday.
The usuals; baby, his cousins and i went to KBOX. Wahahaha.
Its KaiLi's 21 birthday. But the party over there wasnt that beautiful.. in fact
its kinda dull.. :( poor KaiLi. I hope my 21 birthday will be sooooo much fun !
Baby even used some stupid toys and scratch my leg which gave me a small cut.
T.T !! Hahahaha ! Painless !
Then we headed down to Topman where baby wanted to shop for shirts.
He also bought me a top from Topshop. Nearly $50 :( But thanks dearest :D
I love it sooo much ! Hehehehe.

Those are the happy days huh. The rest are play play play..... computer games.
Gaming world !! But i havent start revising my work :( Save meeeeeee...

11.09AM

2009-05-26T18:07:00.002+08:00

Watch Night in the museum 2 !! :D
Certainly worth the money !

Awww, i miss my ah bao..
That blacked face boy :(
Im so lazy to study now.. Somebody help me !

Its... cabal cabal and cabal =x
6.10PM

2009-05-20T18:54:00.004+08:00

Lalala !
Im bored... so i've decided to blog !
And im going to skip school tomorrow..... D:
Among that 5 hours of lesson in school tomorrow, 3 and a half hours will be POA !
How dead can i be ? :( And right after POA, it will be Humanities. My sleeping period.
And followed by Maths. Only Maths is what im interested in. So damn ! Hahaha !
Bye Thursday ! :D

Man ! You see my POA exam paper :(
Feel stress then hand itchy also got this D:
My baby boy is dozing off..
Active back when he sees food !

Awww man ! Cocoa is soooo HORNY !! I did an experiment yesterday.

He kept licking my hands and legs....And so, i tried to leave my hand near

to him and he........did that fucking "movement" like what dogs always do to

human's legs. Omg :( He's so horny.. no wonder he cant stop following me wherever

i go !

HELP ME ! D:

7.01PM

2009-05-17T13:27:00.002+08:00

WOO !
Its been donkey days since i last post again.
Yesterday was a shopping spree for dearest ! :D
He spent a total of $130 ++++++ on his dressings D:
Like wow... Bumped into Hui Yi, Ying Chuan and Lee Wee at bugis street :D
Coincidence ! Hohoho. Headed down to Tampines Safra as Melvin and all wanted to
play pooool. Dearest and me slacked over there while watching the rest
pooled. What a fun day. I realised that, without game's entertainment,
life wouldnt be boring without money. Money can really bring happiness
to one. Hmmmm ......

As for today, im gonna rot my whole day infront of the comp ! Cause dear is
having duty today ! :(
Had fucking nightmares this morning. Dont wanna mention it, cause those were
jokes ! D: I cant wait to go shopping spree with dearest and his cousins next week
again ! The day after today will be a boring day, MONDAY BLUEEEZ ? eeeew !
For me, its....Monday blue, Tuesday blue, Wednesday blue, Thursday blue & Friday blue.
Hahahahahaha.

AND, Cocoa had managed to PRISON BREAK ! He succeeded his destroying of
cage. Im sure that he's sooooo contented with what he had done. He doenst need
to enter the prison until we found a new home for him. For now, he is able to roam
around the house 24/7. Man !

Bye ~ Will blog soooooon :D
1.36PM

2009-05-14T11:41:00.002+08:00

13May. Wednesday.
Initially ah bao and i, wanted to watch Star Trek in the cinema. But unfortunately,
we headed down to parkway instead. Ah bao wanted to get his weights for buidling
muscles. Lalala. Ate Scoooopz ! Yummy. I think im growing muscles on my arms.
I carried both of his bars with a total of 5kg with cocoa's food weighing 1kg.. Lol !
Come on, i dont wanna be muscular woman. 6kg, can grow muscle ?

14May. Thursday.
Weeew ! Skipped school for the 1st time... i can say, for the 1st time in my life ?
With permission, i must say. The last time i skipped school is with rachel baobei.
I think..... i was only sec2 then. Hahaha. I used excuses like there's thunder and
heavy rain and today's time table are mainly stupid lessons which are mostly
freeeee periods =x And, permission granted ! :D
Well, no friends msged me or something to ask why i didnt come to school.
Perhaps if 1 day i die, they wouldnt even know. Hahaha.

Aww, i just logged into Facebook. Ah bao's friend commented on his status right
after i did. What she commented, makes me feel stupid about myself. What she
commented, makes me feel that i dont understand him. Everything was settled
yesterday, but its coming back today. What can i do to stop these from haunting me ?
I dont feel good.

11.52AM

2009-05-12T21:28:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered....
What if being on Earth is not the most wonderful thing you can achieve ?
What if you smiled but your heart felt differently ?
What if you tried to make someone care about you but it fails, what will you do ?

Im feeling insecure, hurt, afraid, unhappy, sobby and whatever it is.
I dont know what to do. My mind just cant stop talking. I cannot control my emotions.
In a huge plain field with only sand. Where should i head to ? Why am i here ?
Who will come and pick me out from here ? How long and how far do i need to get out
of here ? Im missing, does anyone care ? I doubt so...to be forgotten. I deserve it.

Im someone who thinks beyond imaginations, dont come close to me.
I want to spread my wings and fly from a great height until i reach into another world.
A world with no sorrows, no unhappiness but with plenty of love and care.
Abandon me and leave me alone. Lost touch from the bits of love. I think too much.

2009-05-12T20:11:00.002+08:00

Sunday, 10 May.
It was mother's day ! Went to tampines to eat KFC with dear and his family.
Hehe. His mummy gave me a hug. But i felt weird..my mom didnt hug me since
small. Its so awkward, but the feeling of it is great ! :D

Cabal-ed at baby's house using lappy. Seeded from his internet. Muahahaa !
Chiong till midnight 2 am. Then baby send me home by cab. Gave my mom her
mother's day present. It was a "lucky cat"? Those you can find by walking down
some shops, with the cat sticking up one arm and waving it. But it was kinda belated.
After 12 midnight. Awww, i feel so far away from my family. I dont even know when
is my mother's birthday. We dont talk much, we dont go out. Sometimes, its too
cold living in my family. Luckily i have cocoa :)

Monday, 11May.
Baby had duty ! While Jiaen, Guanshen and me went to Sakae to eat ! :D
Ewww ! I've wasted so much money because i only managed to eat 6 plates !
Some even have that wasabi taste ! yuck ! But its fun being with my friends :D

JiaEn Laogong. Hahaha. What a wideeee smile !
GS. Lol ! Dont step la. That mountain of plates includes 6 of mine.
The right bowl, is used by uncivilised human.

Lastly, say hello to COCOA !

Awww. Nothing much to blog these few days. Currently into chiong-ing Cabal

right after school. School is still soooo boring ! D:

Tadaaa !

I miss ah bao :D

8.30PM

2009-05-07T15:45:00.002+08:00

Woo ! Its been sooo long since i last updated my blog. Eeew !
Well, just finished Mid Year Exams. Hahaha ! Its a "sure fail" kind of thing.
Because, im cabaling from the moment i return home till late at night.
:( Hahaha. Im just toooooo lazy to study !

On the way to school today, a group of students from my school, walking infront of
me. People riding on bicycles, rushing for work. The poor cyclist rang the bell and
got cursed by the people infront. Isn't that a stupid thing to do ? Hahaha ! And the
girl infront just didn't want to move away. I wonder why these people don't have
EQ.

Woo ! I want that Crocs job. I hope there's people accompanying me though :(
Hehehe :)

Chaos !
3.51PM

2009-04-26T18:10:00.003+08:00

SAD .
Rest in peace Girlgirl. 15 Feb o9 - 25 Apr o9.
I'll miss you girl. Sorry. Love lots.

Damn weather. So humid everyday. Global warming !
Warning to Ministry of Education; Please prevent global warming by stopping the printing
of textbooks and examination papers. Thank you. Hahaha. Lame but true.
Not yet in the mood of studying. Keep playing Cabal ! Awww ~
English paper 1 is tomorrow ! TOMORROW ! I actually plan to study in June D:
hahaha ! Damn it ! :(
I miss girl girl .....

Man ! I heard that there's new mode in LeftForDead. Survival ?
I wanna try it out :D
Baby, date me out for L4D soon alright ?!

6.11PM

2009-04-22T17:41:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 1 YEAR & 9 MONTHS WITH DEAREST BABY BOY :)
thanks baby for what you've been giving me and whatever
you've been doing to make me smile continuously ! Despite of me being unreasonable at
times, you still continue to be understanding towards me. Happy happy :D Thanks love !

:( Twinny didnt come to school today. She had something on still. However, she promised
me that she will come tmr !! :D i miss her !

Hahah ! I havent even started revising my work for the upcoming exam ! Its only 5 days
more ! Countdown !!!!!!!! :D
And, tomorrow is 2.4km dying run ! :( Legs are to be NUMBED after tomorrow ! All the
best to myself. Lol !! :D
5.47PM

2009-04-21T17:28:00.006+08:00

BACK !
pictures time ~

This is cocoa, right after his bath. Wet little naughty boy. He definitely smell better now. Haha !
My boyf ! Last few days, i went to his house to do some facial. First time in my life !
He fell asleep while waiting for the mask to dry. Hahaha. Piggy !Does he look 20 ? NOO ! Damn baby face ! Jealous.
Haha ! Shielding his nipple from the camera while watching tv.

ANTS ATTACK !

While im preparing a hot milo for myself in the morning, several ants crawled onto me.

Invasion ! I pushed them lightly out of my hands but they just cant stop climbing on me !

I dont know why. Most likely they came from the cover of the condensed milk. Is my hand

too sweet for them ? Lol ! Irresistible ! Went to school with an ant on my uniform. :(

It crawled on my hands and i pushed it off again but it never fail to climb up again. When i

saw an ant crawling on the projected screen. It shocked me. Hahaha ! Ant ants day !

Had oral examination for mid year today ! Hahaha. I knew i did quite moderately.

The examiner had to ask me lots of questions because i didnt know how to answer

the conversation. Aww...Hack care ! =x

Initially, i wanted to meet rachel baobei yesterday. Unfortunately, she was too busy :(

I cant wait to see twinny tmr :D

And, tomorrow is me and baby's 1 year 9 months anniversary. Hello boyf, do you have

anything special for me ? Wink wink *

Baby said that in Thailand, stars are shattered everywhere in the sky unlike in Singapore !

How beautiful ! I wanna go :D ! Bring me there, take me there ! Hohohoho.

Iloveyou dearest (:

5.51PM

Mood : Sleepy and Hungry !

2009-04-17T18:45:00.003+08:00

AHHHH ! :( i went to cut my hair about an hour ago. Dissappointing.
Its like... Shorter than usual. I guess i told that woman wrongly on how i want my
hair to be. No more golden brown tail ! Hahaha ! Currently dying the bottom of
my hair =x Like..... SAD ! Its ok... Hair can grow ! Always look on the bright side of
life ! Anyway, the hairdresser trimmed my hair and its somehow not as spoiled as it
was. :D However, i wished that it could be the other auntie who always cut my hair.
Hahaha !
School... Sucks as usual. Boring and dry. No motivation to study yet !!!
Doomed ! Dreaming of my GTR Skyline :D

I miss baby :( He's having duty now. Pang seh me. D:

Twinny. Cheerup :) You are my strong girl.
6.44PM

2009-04-16T14:06:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 3 YEARS & 2 MONTHS ANNI WITH TWINNEH !
:D

Hahaha ! Back ! Its been 4 long days since i last updated my blog. Was busy playing
Cabal and going out. :D hohoho. Managed to watch the Fast & Furious 4 yesterday !
Super nice. Its so much better watching in the cinema than to the online pirated ones.
I wanna own a GTR Skyline ! Even though the blue sexy car used is Nissan Skyline;
pointed out by dear. Nissan Skyline is sexy. However, my GTR Skyline to be, is much
sexier. LOL !! Dreaming* Will baby be like that muscular guy in the movie ? Who love
his girlfriend so much that he took vengence for her ? Hahahaha ! I bet he is :)

Hohohoho ! Had NAFA test today. LOL ! Damn... i failed my shutter run. Its soooo
shocking. I know... i know... Stupid distractions. I just couldnt stop feeling shy. Failed
by 1 second. What a joke. 1st time i failed shutter run. Hahaha. And, today, the 16th...
Twin taught me how to jump for that damn standing board jump. I passed !!!! Finally...
Thanks twinneh :D Without her, i think i'd be stucked. Hahaha ! Feeling so dumb.

Eating Famous Amous right now. YUMMY ! Thanks baby :D Hahahaha. I feel so lucky
being loved :) my jealousy boy !

2.14PM

2009-04-12T15:59:00.003+08:00

11 April; Saturday.
Went out with laogong; jiaen and brother; guanshen. Played L4D, ate and slacked.
Shiokness. Very long didnt feel so free before. But of course, money rushed like tap
water into the sink :(
Ate dinner at ASTON :D

My BBQ chicken.
See my laogong. Laugh until like that. So high. LOL !

Cocoa. My lovely rabbit boy.

Twist for his face. Lol !
See girlgirl eat. So chubby.
And this, most of everybody's love. Mdm Nurmah. Fuck you !

Fuck man !

Super angry now. So what man ? So what in the past you gangster ? You cannot

talk to me like this until you die ok ? You hate to be accused. So am i ! You human,

i ghost ah ? Both also must have equal rights ok ? The things i never do, u accused me

of doing. Ya, forever you win. FOREVER. FUCKER !

2009-04-09T18:54:00.003+08:00

Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.
Family. Boyfriend. School.

This is what my mind says.
Who can read it ?
Its out of control. Im at wits end.
Teach me, guild me, tell me.
Im giving up soon.
7.00PM

2009-04-09T14:53:00.002+08:00

HOHOHO !
Today had 4 tests in total. STRESS AH ! Out of the 10 periods of lesson; 5hours,
only 1 hour is PE. The rest were tests after tests. Headache. Lol ! Im going to
distress my brain by PLAYING GAME ! Damn books. Anyway, today Mdm Nurmah
guai lan to me and twin. She kept asking us to "SHUT UP" la :(
Lol ! I answered her, "You yourself then shut up la". Then she look at me and nothing
to say. Idiot. I hate ppl to ask me to shut up. Hate ! HATE !! When ppl ask me to shut
up, i will never stop myself from answering back. Please ask ppl to keep quiet in a
polite way, do not use "shut up".

xD
byeeee ~ i go PLAY !
Will blog again soon :)

2.57PM

2009-04-07T17:49:00.004+08:00

GLOOMY .
Awww :( bored. That same feeling which i had last year, is back. Im sorry.
Im just too dopey; ignorant. Hahaha ! Stupid right ? Stupid mind of mine just
couldnt stop thinking of helping. When i helped, i made more troubles for myself.
I didnt expect things to turn out this way. The feeling of abandoned and lack of
courage just returned. I havent felt this way for the past few months. It is back.
When u cannot pass that stage, you get angry. When i tried to help, u get angry.
I shouldnt do anything. I am so useless right. I also didnt know playing with me is a
waste of time. I see that game is priority now. You asked me to look after your
stall. Yes, i didnt notice that you DCed. Im sorry. Somehow i just feel that you are
blaming me. I couldnt take it. You keep asking me to enjoy my game while im
actually crying and feeling stress about everything. Guys will never understand.
You can scold me, but this is only my thoughts.

I also realised that guys treat games more seriously and caring apart from their
girlfriends. Men instinct ?

Is learning about the game more important than
someone you love in real life ? I dont know what is your true answer.
Fullstop.
Speechless.
Its all my fault.
5.54PM

2009-04-06T20:28:00.003+08:00

WOOO ~
Im currently playing Cabal private server !
Join me : www.cabalhelix.com !
HAHA. Within 3 days im already 120+ lvl. Shiok ! But the money very
hard to earn. Hahaha. Wooo !
Im going back to train my account :D

Latest:
My baby hammy left 1 :(
The other babies are so unfortunate. Research says that normally the 1st brith
of babies, most of them will not survive because the mother lacked experience.
Im awaiting for the 2nd batch of babies ! :D I love you Girlgirl and Boyboy. Not
forgetting the little one still living. May you live LONGER !!! Lots of loveeeee !

tadaa !
8.30PM

2009-04-04T14:16:00.004+08:00

Friday; 4th April.
Lalala. Pictures !

During physics lesson in the lab. Exploring the use of magnifying glass.Show you my teeeeeeeeeeeeeth !

Met Rachel baobei and cheekeong with dearest at Simpang Bedok. :D

Happy happy ! Ate lots of food till i nearly vomitted. Luckily baby bought me sweets

to control my stomach. :D Thanks dearest ! Yummy. I still miss that Thai fried rice !
Spaghetti bolognese.

Our Teh. :D Yummy !

Im so happy to meet rachel baobei :D

5th April. Saturday.

Well, the latest news.

2 carcases of baby hammy found. 1 missing and 3 alive. :'(

Rest in peace my babies. I supposed that the parent ate the missing one.

Perhaps they see it suffering then they ate it. I hope that 3 lovely ones would

recarnate and be my god-grandchildren again. I love you babies ! May the remaining

ones live as long as possible. Same goes to its parents. Girlgirl looks very weak after

giving birth. It is soooo heartbreaking.

Daddy found a dog roaming around at somewhere, he didnt tell me where......

He fed it with water. That dog is finding for its owner. My daddy didnt bring him home !!

Cause he say that our rabbit is already so troublesome. :(

EEEEEE i want doggy. Hahaha ! And make our house be like a zoo !!!

I still hoped for a pet dog.

2.23PM

2009-04-03T19:33:00.004+08:00

SAD. DEPRESSED.
Went to school. There's no announcement for band's achievement today.
For example. Sports CCA, they compete with other school. When they win, the school
will recognise their achievement by announcing. But when they lost, the school will keep
quiet.Last 2 years, band got gold. They announced sooooooooooo proudly. This year ???
Is it really embarrassing to announce that the band had gotten a silver ?
What Mr Yeo had said... was it true or white lies ? Im beginning to hate that
DAMN Bedok North Sec. Bunch of useless liars ! Arrogant shit. I hope that they are
feeling guilty to drive Mr Lim away. Idiots !

Returned home from school and received a real bad news.
3 hammy baby were trapped with one hand stucked to cotton. :(
Sorry babies. I shouldnt have placed some cotton in. I thought it might give you warmth.
But unexpectedly.... 1 of the forearm was swollen for 3 of them. It really hurts me to see
them in that condition. I've tried my best to remove most of the cotton but they are
too small. I cannot touch them too. I hope their parents might help. Their cries made
my heart sank. My little babies, so young yet suffered so much.
How could i repay you for what i've done ?

Few hours ago, lost 1 of my hammy baby due to mul nutritient. It looked super skinny.
Rest in peace my baby.
Lots of love.

Guilty. :(

7.30PM

2009-04-02T21:16:00.006+08:00

BOO !
just updated the trumpet blog. :) LALALALA !
5 people popped out and say "xiangxiang rawks" the moment i went online.
Today very SHIOOOOK huh ! First time ! hahaha.
SYF got silver :D
Its still acceptable though. Although that wasnt what i hoped for. After listening
to talks from the alumni and teachers, i began to realise that getting a silver is
already a very good start ! The end of last year, that "changing of conductor"
affected alot on the seniors. Like me, didnt wanna attend band because its not
Mr Lim. The rest, adapting to the new conductor, is like a whole new band.
A brand new beginning and a silver which will eventually grow up into a better
achievement later on. :D

And, luckily we didnt perform in the morning today. Or else we will be sandwiched
in between the good bands ! :D

After attending band for these 2 weeks, the memories in the pass just came
back. Looking at Coral Sec achieving gold, makes me feel jealous. Im in their
shoes, 2 years back. However, after reflecting, a silver is also good enough ! :D

pictures time ~
trumpet trumpet trumpet. Be mine ! hahaha.

SG Flyer! dont really kno the spelling of it.
And the section. Without Yinjie and Jiaming. hahahaha. Amazon Greeeeeen !

lalalaa ! TV time ! blog soon :)

9.30PM

2009-04-01T17:16:00.001+08:00

JIAYOU BN BAND :DDD
tmr is SYF !! i know we can do it ! :)

and, HAPPY APRIL FOOL to the fools !

5.09PM

2009-03-31T16:44:00.006+08:00

LALALALALALALA !!
The happy girl is HEREEEEE !

SURPRISE !
MY ROBO HAMSTER GAVE BIRTH TO 6 HEALTHY JELLY BEANS !!!
Mom woke me up at 2.30AM while im sleeping ! Just to let me know that she found
babies in hamster's house. Hahaha ! Made me soooooooo happy till i couldnt sleep
after that. They look like JELLY BEANS !!! Strawberry flavour ? Damn cute la !

2 jelly beans among their parent's food.
Another 2 lying with their parents.

Im not being biased huh.... COCOA ! when are you going to give me babieees ?
Woke up super early today. Drank coffee to boost my energy and headed to school

with dark scary surrounding ! Totally dark... Feeling feared while walking to school.

Damn deserted. Played SYF pieces to a group of children from the lower sec :D

Why children ? Basically, most but not all, have childish mentality. So, they are kids !

Was released from lessons at 11am and proceeded with band practice ! Same for tmr

as well :) The best one is.... Thursday ! 1 hour of PE then released !!! Cause of SYF.

After band prac, i went home alone. Hahaha. As usual. I dont demand much :)

My circle of friends isnt that huge. Sometimes i really do feel like an extra.

And, congrats to St Gab for getting gold ytd. Just noticed it in the night.

Also, congrats to Hougang for getting gold today :)

Li May, a friend who went to the SCH to listen for her band, commented that this

year's SYF is lenient. I hope its going to be lenient on Thursday too ! :DDD

After today's band practice, i know that we can actually score well in SYF !!!!

We Can !!! :DDDDDD

Jiayou BNband :D

Cheers !!

5.12PM

2009-03-30T19:06:00.005+08:00

STRESS !!! EMOTIONAL !!! SUCKY !!!
This 3 words are what i am feeling NOW !
Just returned home from band in a gloomy mood.
Obviously its about band... I admit that i suck big time ! :(
Its exactly 1 week and 6 days i've been practising my trumpet and
attending band regularly. Mr Wong had commented on our band.. blablabla !
I felt that we are just not preparing and feeling the urgency enough.
ITS ONLY 3 MORE DAYS ! D: 3 more practices !

I felt sooooo dumb for not returning to band before that. Just because of the change
of conductor ? And no XENO trumpet for me ? haha. I felt like a dumbass !
However, i still wished that Mr Lim didnt leave us. He's really a good conductor.
His presence turned the whole band around. I detest the choice piece, SERIOUSLY !
Trumpet seemed to be a useless section in that fucking piece ! Hate it so much !!!!!!
RAWR !!

Im still so lousy for SYF. People are not concentrating and taking it seriously.
Im so worried !! Just couldnt control my emotions when i heard that Regent got
Gold. Suddenly i had this hard feeling to overcome my own confidence. SO URGH !
People are improving and we are still maintaining our standards. Not forgetting myself
in that category of "still maintaining our standards" too, ......eeeyucks !
I suck :( Envious of other's band!!! But so what ? We have to strive harder for it ! :) gimme
the movtivation to move further !!!

Congrats to Regent Band :) They have improved tremendously ! Its a GOLD for them this year ! :D Happy for them yet worrying for my beloved band.

There is still room for improvement !! :D
JIAYOU MYSELF !!! gambateh !
7.12PM

2009-03-29T15:01:00.005+08:00

Saturday; 28March.

Went to school for band practice in the MORNING. Tired tired bored bored.

Played trumpet and felt that my lips were a lil swollen :( Must be the day before i

pressed the mouthpiece hardly against my lips. Pain pain. Gotta give my lips some

rest ! Cause next week's Monday to Thursday gotta have intensive training for SYF !

Its baby's off day too. But i didnt accompany him. I accompanied my family instead.

Sorry baby :( Im feeling very guilty now.... Surprisingly, my whole family went out !
went to Tampines by BUS !!! I cant imagine that.. it was like... Since 10 over years ?

Dad used to drive us out, but he thinks that its hard to get a parking lot for his car so

we went out by bus. COOL :DD ! Family outing eh ? Since donkey years !

Brother treated us Han's ! :D Yummy ! thanks bro. hehehehehe !

Loving the lovely atmostphere with my family :)

Half of my black pepper chicken and half of bro's dory fish.

Sunday; 29March.

Lalalaa ! Baby is taking a afternoon nap ! :D

Waiting for him to wake up. Then we shall watch the movie ; The Unborn !! :D

3.35PM

Baobei Rachel;

I miss you too !

I miss the times we went MAD. Both inside and outside school. We just cant stop

badmouthing ppl we hate ! :D I still thought of being LES with you when i was single.

Can you believe it ? Hahaha. But im straight la. Just felt that guys are real jerks and

that time we were just toooo close to each other. xD wahhh, i seriously miss you !!! :D

Thanks to you, i didnt smoke. Whenever i thought of trying, you'll be right in my mind,

scolding me and warning me not to smoke. hahaha !

Thanks to you, i feeeel the real friendship.

Thanks to you, in helping my relationships with your twinny.

Thanks to you, for recommending a nice guy for me.

Thanks to you, i've enjoyed my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeee with you !!! :D

Shall meet up asap baobei ! xDDDD

loveeeeeees !